The Second Time Around
by daykestrel
Summary: Seven of Nine and Kathryn Janeway had a chance together, but they blew it. Many years later they are reunited at Christmas time and old sparks begin to fly. Can they make it work the second time around?
1. Chapter 1  When in Boston

**The Second Time Around: A Christmas Tale**

_Disclaimers:_

This story is set many years after the episode "Endgame". It depicts a loving relationship between two adult women. It also contains grey hair, creaky knees and a few wrinkles. If any of these things offend you, this story is not for you.

In the series finale "Endgame", Admiral Janeway returned to the past, thereby changing the future. As such, the characters in this story have not necessarily chosen to follow the same paths that their counterparts did in that episode.

I have also allowed the admiral to age a little more naturally. Take a look at any current photo of Kate Mulgrew and you'll get a glimpse of the Retired Admiral Janeway. Kate is a beautiful woman, and I wanted to allow the admiral the same beauty as she aged.

I am clearly making no profit off this story, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 1 – When in Boston…

Recently retired Admiral Kathryn Janeway held onto the railing as she ascended the steps outside the lecture theatre. Not that she needed the assistance, mind you. But her body wasn't as young as it used to be and the steps were slippery with frost on this late November morning in Boston.

Inside the Harvard heritage building, she paused momentarily to get her bearings from a map on the wall and then set off for Room 101A.

Locating the room she sought, Kathryn cracked open the door. The lecture had just started. She slipped into the back of the hall and took a seat in one of the rear, topmost rows. She unwound a bright red scarf from her neck and settled in to enjoy the talk.

The lights were at one quarter and a large holographic display dominated the front of the room. Protons and electrons danced in the display as directed by the lecturer who was standing off to the left of the holoprojection.

Kathryn was already familiar with this particular piece of quantum wave theory, so she tuned out the lecture and chose instead to focus on the woman who was delivering it. The professor's presence was palpable, even from the back of the room. She spoke clearly and precisely, with a passion that was captivating to the several hundred third and fourth year undergraduate students in the room.

Which was something Kathryn all too familiar with. She too had been captivated by that voice on many occasions.

When the lecture was over and the lights came up, Kathryn held back, waiting for the professor to finish addressing questions from the students who swarmed around her. Her eyes narrowed as one young woman stepped into the professor's space on the pretext of asking a question, placing a hand on the lecturer's arm and smiling brightly up at the tall professor.

The professor took a discreet step back, slipping out from under the hand, and answered the question without giving any indication of having noticed the young woman's overture.

Kathryn grinned to herself. _Hah, shot down. _

The professor addressed all of the students' questions in turn, focussing on each individual and taking their questions seriously. One by one the students wandered away, satisfied and a little dazed at having that brilliance turned their way, if even for a few moments.

The professor called an end to the questions when the next batch of students began filtering into the hall. She ejected a data stick from the holoprojector, slid it into a slim briefcase, and exited the room through one of the front doors.

Kathryn hurried down the steps to the front of the theatre and slipped through the same door.

Damn her aging knees. Going down stairs always caused them to ache, especially in the damp coastal weather.

Once in the hallway, she called out after the retreating figure.

"Doctor Janeway!"

Doctor Annika Hansen Janeway turned around, a slight smile gracing her lips.

"Kathryn. I had been wondering if you were just here to watch, or if there was another purpose to your visit. Did you learn anything?"

"Nothing that I hadn't already read in one of your papers."

Kathryn took the last few steps to catch up. Out of old habit she reached out to put a hand on the professor's arm, but frowned slightly and dropped it at the last minute. She was _not_ some young admirer fawning over this brilliant professor.

"Seven, how are you?" she asked instead.

Seven of Nine, also more recently known as Annika Hansen Janeway, noticed the aborted gesture but chose not to comment.

"I am well," she said instead. Blunt as ever, she offered, "I have a guest office. This way."

Bemused, Kathryn followed her through the maze of the old building and into a small interior office with a desk and a computer terminal. There was a packed suitcase by the desk and a long black coat hanging from the back of the door. Otherwise the office was empty.

"Since you are already familiar with the piece of theory I was discussing today, I presume you must be here for some other reason. Would you like to talk in here, or shall we go to the little coffee shop on the corner?"

"Oh the coffee shop, definitely." Kathryn studied Seven as she buttoned up the long coat and pulled on some gloves. It had been… what… at least a year since she'd seen her last? Maybe two?

Feeling awkward in the silence, she blurted out, "You cut your hair."

"Indeed. It's much more efficient this way." The corner of Seven's mouth curled up. "And," she allowed, "I felt like it was time for a change."

Kathryn, who had always loved Seven's long, flowing hair, was dismayed to discover just how sexy she found the professor with her new short haircut.

Seven's hair, which was in the process of going grey, was softly falling about her face. It looked mussed but perfectly elegant at the same time. When Seven turned around to exit the office, Kathryn caught herself staring at the back of her neck, exposed by the sort haircut.

The back of Seven's neck had always been a weakness for Kathryn. _Soft and elegant, and yet strong at the same time. _

Kathryn shook her head in an attempt to dislodge the thoughts and memories. She was _not_ here to gawk at her lost love, and she was far too old to be acting like a besotted teenager.

Even if Seven could still take her breath away.

xxxxx

The coffee shop was only half full, so Kathryn and Seven settled into two side-by-side armchairs near the window. Kathryn had a large mug of dark roast coffee, while the professor was holding a cup of hot chocolate topped with whip cream and cinnamon. Seven had insisted on paying.

"They gave me credits for my meals on the campus as part of my lecture series," she'd explained. "I'm leaving today, and yet I haven't utilized even half the credits yet."

She had expected a disagreement – Kathryn had always insisted on paying when they were together – but today she had accepted the courtesy without any fuss.

They chatted about inane things for a few minutes, such as the weather and the traffic in Boston, before Seven decided that she had had enough small talk.

"Why are you here?" she asked abruptly. Her often straightforward nature could at times be off-putting to others, so she was glad when Kathryn, knowing her well, took no offense.

"Phoebe had some pieces in an exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts."

"Really?" Seven allowed herself to be impressed. "That is a very prestigious museum. Why didn't you inform me? You know I've always been a fan of your sister's work."

"The exhibit is still on for a few more days…" Kathryn shrugged sheepishly.

"Then I will delay my transport home and attend the exhibit before I leave." Seven did a few quick calculations, pleased to determine that she could spend an hour at the museum and still be back on the west coast in time to attend a work event in the evening.

"But that doesn't explain why you're _here_," she continued. "Why did you seek me out in Boston? It would have been easier to find me in Palo Alto or San Francisco."

"I know. I…" Kathryn paused, as if unsure how to continue. "Seven, did you get an invitation for Christmas from Harry's wife?"

"I did," Seven replied. "I had not planned on attending. This guest lecture series has put me behind on my latest research project."

Seven paused for a moment, and then decided that she owed the other woman the whole truth.

"In addition," she admitted, "I still find the holidays to be… awkward."

"There's something you should know." Kathryn leaned towards Seven, her face serious. This time she gave into the impulse to rest a hand on Seven's arm.

"Harry was injured in a battle with the Cardassians last month," she said quietly.

"I had heard on the news that a Federation starship was ambushed. There were only a few survivors. Was that Harry's ship?"

"It was. He's alive, but badly hurt. He lost both his legs, and there was damage to his spine as well. He suffered severe burns over most of his body. The skin grafts are taking, and the dermal and nerve regeneration sessions seem to be working, and he's undergoing an operation next week to receive artificial limbs... He's going to be okay… But…"

"But?"

"Well, he has a long convalescence ahead of him. And the worst thing to happen to a captain is to lose his ship and most of his crew. Harry's always loved Christmas. Beth decided they should have a party… take his mind off his injuries, help him to heal. It would mean a lot if you were able to come, even for a few days."

"I understand. Harry has always been happiest with friends and family around him."

Seven could relate. She herself had always been happiest around Kathryn Janeway. But that was a long time ago.

"Exactly." Kathryn nodded.

"I will see what I can do."

"Thank-you." Kathryn squeezed Seven's arm and then released her. "I'd best be going. Perhaps we'll see you at Christmas, hm?"

She tossed the red scarf around her neck, and with a last, inscrutable glance back at Seven, stepped through the doors and was gone.

Several minutes later, Seven found that she still missed the warmth of Kathryn's hand on her arm.


	2. Chapter 2  Winter Soltice

**The Second Time Around: A Christmas Tale**

Chapter 2 – Winter Solstice

It was raining and windy in Seattle. The taxi deposited Seven at the front door of the hotel, which fortunately was under a covered awning. She paid and tipped the driver, declining his repeated offers of help with her suitcase.

She smirked slightly at his eagerness to assist her. Over the years Seven had learned to recognize and understand desire, and she found herself amused by the fact that men, and some women, still seemed to trip over themselves to come to her notice. She had thought that cutting her hair would have eliminated some of that, but surprisingly she now seemed to garner more attention than ever.

The front doors of the hotel slid out of her way as she approached, admitting her into a lobby that was decorated for Christmas. Two large trees flanked the check-in desk, covered in brightly coloured lights. Her heightened sense of smell informed her that these were real trees, likely Pseudotsuga menziesii, or Douglas Fir. She found the aroma quite pleasant.

Holographic reindeer danced in holographic snow, and jazzy Christmas music was playing softly.

It was four days before Christmas, December 21st by the old Earth calendar.

Seven had released her two research assistants for a week in order to attend Harry Kim's Christmas gathering. The palpable relief and joy exhibited by her assistants when she had excused them reminded her, somewhat belatedly, that most people did indeed want to spend time with their families at this time of year.

Silently chastising herself, she had wished them a happy holiday and caught a late shuttle to Seattle.

Stepping into the lobby, she noted the long line up for check-in at the front desk. At the back end of the line was a familiar figure. Kathryn Janeway was bundled in a heavy coat, her grey hair slightly damp from the rain. She had the same gloriously red scarf around her neck that she had been wearing in Boston.

Seven sighed. Why did Kathryn always have to look so good in red?

Unobtrusively, she joined the line up behind Kathryn.

"Seven." The retired admiral's gravelly voice settled warm and low in her stomach. Seven wasn't sure how Kathryn had known she was there. Perhaps it was the intuition that the older woman had often spoken about.

"Kathryn." Seven purposefully kept her voice neutral, but she took a step forward to stand beside the retired admiral.

The line moved forward.

"I'm glad you could make it," Kathryn said. There was a soft smile playing around her lips.

"Family is important this time of year," Seven acknowledged. "And Harry Kim is family."

"That he is," she agreed.

They stood in companionable silence until the line moved forward again, bringing the pair to the front.

"Welcome to the Alpha Hotel Seattle, I'm sorry for your wait." The young man behind the counter looked hassled, furiously hammering away on the terminal screen in front of him. His name tag said 'James'.

When young James finally glanced up, his eyes widened at the guests standing in front of him.

"Admiral and Doctor Janeway!" he blurted out.

He caught himself, and somewhat sheepishly reined in his enthusiasm. "Welcome to the Alpha Hotel Seattle." He sighed, frustrated. "We've been having computer problems."

Vaguely amused by the attention that she still and the retired admiral still garnered even all these years later, Seven leaned towards young man. "If you will step aside 'James', I shall assimilate your computer system. It will be much more efficient when I am through."

"Um… what? No… no. That's… that's okay, thank you," the young man stuttered.

Seven, still deadpan, winked.

The young man blushed.

"Ah… yes. Erm…" he dropped his head, punching at his terminal even more furiously.

Seven glanced at Kathryn out of the corner of her eye. Kathryn made a soft "tch tch" noise. Seven smiled.

Finally the terminal offered up the information the young clerk was looking for.

"Okay, I have your reservation right here." James sighed in relief. "If you'll just place your right hands on the plate here, one at a time, we'll key the lock for you."

They did so.

"Great, the bellhop will take you up to your room."

"Um… room?" Kathryn asked.

The young man looked at her blankly.

"You have only a single room for both of us?" Seven clarified.

"Well, yes…" Poor James was flustered again. "After all, you're… well… Admiral Janeway, you reserved first, but then your wife also made a reservation and so we just assumed that you were both so busy that you'd gotten your wires crossed…"

"Ex-wife," Kathryn and Seven said in tandem.

"Oh." The clerk was redder than ever.

Noticing the long line-up winding behind them and not wanting to cause a scene, Kathryn leaned forward and addressed him in a low, soothing tone of voice.

"James, it's okay. Could you please see if there's a second room available?"

"Yes ma'am, right away!" he promised, completely missing Kathryn's wince at being referred to as 'ma'am'.

After a moment, the young clerk sighed in relief.

"Great, we do have a second room for you. The rooms are… um, they're side-by-side… is that okay?" he asked uncertainly.

"That will be fine, thank-you," Kathryn smiled at him.

"Okay, please follow the bellhop. He'll take your bags for you. Thank-you-for-coming-hope-you-enjoy-your-stay-at-the-Alpha-Hotel-Seattle!" He blurted out his last sentence, desperate to finish his encounter with these intimidating women.

James sighed audibly with relief as the newest hotel guests moved away before turning to his next customer. "Welcome to the Alpha Hotel Seattle, sorry for the wait!"

xxxxx

The bellhop was a hologram, efficient but slightly stiff. After ensuring his charges were following he led the way to the elevator lift in silence.

"I can't believe people still recognize us after all this time!" Kathryn exclaimed to Seven as they trailed after the bellhop.

Seven raised her optical implant in a gesture that Kathryn still found unsettlingly attractive. _Damn it, stop gawking._

"Kathryn, the story of Voyager has been told all over the quadrant. It was made into a movie. There were several dozen holonovels, not to mention the children's cartoon 'Adventures in the Delta Quadrant'."

The admiral grimaced at the last one. She had found the cartoon version of herself somewhat upsetting. Short and stout, with a big head and even bigger red hair. Seven's cartoon caricature, on the other hand, had been almost cat-like, graceful and sexy. _At least that part was accurate_, she mused.

Seven continued, "There have been documentaries, lectures, and even entire university courses based on Voyager's time in the Delta Quadrant. Chakotay tours elementary schools and tells stories of our travels to the children."

Kathryn held up her hand. "I know, I know. I just wish…" She stopped and faced Seven fully.

"We were stranded for seven years. It wasn't glamorous. It was lonely. And terrifying. And yet here we are, back home for nearly four times as long as we were in the Delta Quadrant, and people are still making us out as heroes."

"The Federation needed heroes," Seven replied quietly. "It still does."

The bellhop had stopped and was waiting patiently at the elevator doors. They caught up to him, Kathryn lost in silent contemplation.

The hotel had put them on the top floor. The hologram stood silently while they palmed the door plates, and once the doors were open he deposited their bags neatly inside their respective rooms. He then wished them a pleasant evening and dematerialized, off to take care of his next guests.

Seven stepped into her room and Kathryn was about to call out wishing her a good night when suddenly the professor's head reappeared around the door frame.

"Kathryn, I haven't consumed dinner yet. There is a restaurant downstairs. Would you care to join me?"

"Oh…" Kathryn was caught off guard. In truth she was tired, and a little flustered. She had known Seven for so long, first as a rescued Borg desperately in need as guidance, then a friend, then a lover, then as her spouse.

Then, after things had blown up, they hadn't known each other at all for a number of years. When they reconnected, they had fallen back into a form of friendship. But they still weren't as close as they had been back on Voyager, and there was a careful line that they both chose not to cross.

It was easy to be in Seven's presence, almost too easy. Kathryn was desperately trying to keep her guard up, to keep her distance. And that damned sexy haircut wasn't helping either.

"Well, I was just going to replicate something in my room…" she trailed off somewhat awkwardly.

"I do not think so," replied Seven smartly. "They charge exorbitant rates for replicator use in the hotel suites, and the food is barely mediocre. Let me treat you to dinner."

"Oh no," replied Kathryn. "You bought the coffee in Boston, I'll buy dinner tonight."

Pleased that she had won the first battle, the professor conceded the second. "Fine. Although technically Harvard bought your coffee in Boston."

She thought for a moment. "If you purchase dinner this evening, you must allow me to reciprocate before the end of our trip. Agreed?"

This banter was familiar and light, and lacked the competitive one-upmanship that had scarred the last year of their marriage.

Bemused by how easily she'd been wiled into spending even more time with Seven, Kathryn nodded. "Agreed. But let me change first. Meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes?"

"Acceptable." Seven nodded and stepped back into her room, this time allowing the door to slide shut behind her.

xxxxx

Inside her room, Kathryn did a quick sweep of her surroundings. She raised the blind covering the floor-to-ceiling window and hummed appreciatively at the view. From the top floor she had a magnificent view of the Seattle skyline. Red and green lights twinkled on the Space Needle, and a jolly Christmas display down on the street caught her eye.

The room was small but efficiently laid out, containing a large comfy-looking bed, a bathroom, a compact workstation, and a tiny kitchenette with a replicator. There was a door that presumably joined her suite to Seven's, but it was locked at the moment. Her heart beat picked up at the thought of Seven getting changed on the other side of the door.

_Enough, Katie,_ she chastised herself.

She had planned to change into pyjamas as soon as she reached her hotel room, but her date with Seven would require something a little more elegant.

"Did I just think 'date'?" she said aloud. "Damn."

Best not to think any further.

She dug through her suitcase and retrieved slacks and a green short-sleeved sweater. That would have to do. She changed quickly, trying not to dwell on her aging body. Fortunately the outfit was flattering and hid any extra weight which may not have been present last time she was on a date with Seven.

_I thought 'date' again. Crap. _

Moving to the mirror, she released her hair from its clasp and ran a brush through it quickly. Now fully grey, it fell softly to her shoulder blades. Her hair was something she was still vain about. It was soft and silky, streaked with textured greys and whites. She re-clasped it into a loose pony tail at the base of her neck.

Studying herself in the mirror, Kathryn frowned at the age lines on her face and the softness around her jaw. She splashed some water on her face, dried it, and applied some light makeup.

"That's as good as it's going to get," she said to her reflection.

Nodding briskly at herself, she tossed a throw around her shoulders for extra warmth and strode out of her room, heading downstairs to meet her 'date'.

xxxxx

One thing that Seven still took much pride in was her efficiency. She was changed into appropriate dinner attire and out the door only five minutes after convincing Kathryn to join her for a meal.

Downstairs at the restaurant, she was just in the process of asking for a table for two when she heard her name being called. Looking up, she spotted Tom Paris, waving excitedly from a table. Next to him was his wife of many years, B'Elanna Torres.

"Seven," he called again. "Come join us!" He stood up and requested an extra chair from a nearby waiter.

"Better make it two," Seven said ruefully.

She had been looking forward to dinner with Kathryn. However, she also knew it would be rude to decline Tom's request, and she was sure the former admiral would want to join her old crewmates.

Plus, Seven admitted to herself, she herself was pleased to see them too.

"Are you still with Jodi?" B'Elanna was referring to the second chair. "I thought you two had broken up." She stood up as well and came around the table to wrap Seven in a hug.

B'Elanna's hair was greying but her face was virtually wrinkle-free, and she was just as whip-strong as she had been back on Voyager. Seven stepped out of the hug feeling breathless and well-squeezed.

"I am no longer with Jodi," Seven confirmed. "That ended almost a year ago. I ran into the Admiral at the front desk and convinced her to join me for dinner."

"Great," confirmed Tom, reaching out to receive his own hug. Unlike his wife, Tom was showing his age. Almost bald and with a middle-aged belly, he still had a sparkle in his eye that spoke of mischief.

"The Doctor will be here too, although he can't eat of course," he continued.

"Which he never lets us forget!" B'Elanna added. Her sharp teeth flashed briefly as she smiled.

"Who else?" inquired Seven, silently counting the chairs around the table.

"The Doctor's girlfriend. I think her name is Tanya. Chakotay's coming from off world so he won't be here until tomorrow. Tuvok is away on a diplomatic mission."

Seven nodded. Of all Voyager's crew, Tuvok was the one she was in touch with the most frequently.

"What about Naomi? And Miral?" she inquired. "Will they be attending Harry's party?"

"Neither of them, unfortunately," said Tom.

Seven nodded again, disappointed in particular that Naomi would not be present for the holiday. While they were no longer as close as they once were, Seven still took an interest in Naomi's well-being, remembering her fondly as one of the first people to truly accept her after she was severed from the Collective.

Of course, the captain had been the first.

As if Seven's thoughts had called to her, Kathryn Janeway appeared in the entrance to the restaurant. She was wearing an emerald green mock turtleneck sweater that made her eyes shine. Seven's heart skipped a beat.

_Inefficient,_ she chastised herself. _You have already been down this road and it led to failure._

Taking a deep breath, Seven raised an arm to flag Kathryn down. But Tom beat her to it, rushing across the restaurant to wrap his old captain in bear hug that lifted the small woman off her feet. B'Elanna was close behind.

"Tom!" Kathryn's laugh lit up the room. To Seven's annoyance, her heart did another little flutter in her chest.

"B'Elanna!" Kathryn threw her arms around her former chief engineer. "You're looking well. What's Miral up to these days?"

As the two women got lost in catching up, Tom ushered the whole group back to the table, seating each lady in turn before finally sitting himself. As Kathryn slid into a chair beside Seven, she dropped her hand to the younger woman's thigh and squeezed briefly in apology before returning her attention to B'Elanna.

Seven stifled a small sigh. This situation really was for the best. Wasn't it?

xxxxx

Three hours and a number of bottles of wine later, the group was relaxed and laughing as Tom related yet another story. He was currently a head instructor at fleet school, and he had seen just about every stupid stunt that a student could pull.

The Doctor and his girlfriend, whose name was indeed Tanya, had joined them a little earlier. As she wasn't a hologram, she was currently working her way through a large chocolate desert, with a little assistance from B'Elanna.

When the Doctor had made a comment about not being able to share their meal, causing Tom to sigh and B'Elanna to roll her eyes, Tanya had just leaned over and whispered something in his ear that left a rather smug smile on the Doctor's face. For the rest of the evening he had been quite jovial.

Kathryn watched as Tanya took a break from her desert to plant a kiss on the Doctor's check. She leaned over to Seven, who was listening but not really participating in the conversation around her.

"I like her," she whispered, nodding in Tanya's direction. "She seems to 'get' the Doctor."

"Indeed," Seven agreed, turning slightly towards Kathryn.

Feeling Seven's full gaze for the first time in the evening, Kathryn allowed herself to feel a modicum of regret. A sarcastic little voice piped up in her head, _You weren't honestly expecting a date with this woman tonight, were you?_

_Oh hush, _she reminded herself. _Seven didn't know they were here anymore than I did._

She let her eyes wander over the professor, not for the first time that evening. Seven was wearing black slacks that must fit her so well they must have been custom tailored, and blue silk shirt that brought out the colour of her eyes.

_Stop it, Katie. Don't look into her eyes. Just look away._

"How are you doing?" Seven interrupted her thoughts. "You indicated earlier this evening that you were tired."

"I'm fine," Kathryn confirmed. "Although I am about ready to head back to my room." On impulse, she added, "Come with me?"

Seven's implant rose at the invitation, but she didn't need long to consider the answer. "Excuse me just a moment," she said.

Seven slipped away, returning a few minutes later. She stood behind Kathryn's chair and leaned down to speak into her ear. "I paid the bill," she explained. "We are free to go."

Straightening up, she unconsciously dropped her hands to Kathryn's shoulders. Raising her voice, she interrupted the other conversations at the table gently but firmly.

"Kathryn and I are excusing ourselves," she announced. "It's been a long day and we both require rest. We will see you all tomorrow."

B'Elanna cleared her throat. "Um… you and the Admiral are heading off to bed then, are you?"

Seven glanced down at Kathryn who was blushing furiously. Belatedly, she realized the implications of her statement and quickly removed her hands from Kathryn's shoulders.

"No. I mean yes. To bed, but not together," Seven stumbled over her words, feeling a blush creep onto her face as well.

"It's okay Seven," Tom reassured her kindly. It was so rare to see the former Borg flustered. She almost always kept her cool. "We know what you meant. Have a good night."

Kathryn slipped out of her chair and put some space between herself and the professor with the dangerously blue eyes.

"Good night everyone," she said firmly. "It was wonderful to see you all. I'm looking forward to tomorrow."

She mustered the most genuine smile that she could, then turned and fled the restaurant.

Seven offered a quick, "Good night," and hurried after the embarrassed woman.

"Just like old times, eh?" said B'Elanna.

"What, Seven chasing after the Admiral?" asked Tom.

"Yup, just like old times."

xxxxx

Kathryn was flustered, a little embarrassed, and a lot turned on. The image of Seven sweeping her off to bed…

Well, she had many images burned in her memory of Seven sweeping her off to bed. Seven was a very passionate, intuitive, inventive woman. Their lovemaking had been… amazing. At least it was before things had turned sour. After that, any time they tried it was stilted and forced.

_But before…_

Rather than head upstairs to her room, Kathryn turned and went out the front doors of the hotel. The brisk air cooled her overheated body and she felt the flush leaving her cheeks.

The rain had stopped, so she took a few steps out onto the sidewalk. Glancing up, she could see that the weather had cleared. There weren't many stars visible through the city lights, but she could make out Orion's Belt in the winter sky.

Kathryn tucked her hands into her armpits, starting to feel the cold night air through her sweater and light wrap but unwilling to return to the hotel just yet.

"Kathryn." Seven's voice was soft behind her. "Kathryn, I must apologize. I spoke without thinking. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Kathryn turned. Seven was looking contrite and slightly worried, keeping a careful distance.

The situation suddenly felt too heavy, too complicated. Kathryn turned back to look up at the sky and pointed.

"Look, the constellation Orion," she said.

Seven stepped up to her right side and tilted her head. "I fail to see the resemblance to the hunter," she stated.

"That's his belt, there," instructed Kathryn. "His shoulders and his tunic. And there's his bow."

"He has neither head nor legs," stated Seven. "What good is a hunter with no head?"

Kathryn laughed, and Seven began to relax. This bantering, this familiar part of their friendship, this she could do.

"Use your imagination, Seven!" Kathryn urged.

"Even my imagination cannot fathom how a headless hunter could be much good with his bow."

"Ah Seven," sighed Kathryn. Hesitantly, she tilted her head sideways to rest on Seven's shoulder. Seven placed a hand in the small of her back, a light and familiar touch.

They stood that way for a few minutes until Seven became aware of the cold night air.

"It is minus two degrees Celsius," she informed Kathryn. "Too cold to be standing outside without proper apparel. Come inside before you get sick."

"Yes, Mom," replied the admiral lightly. Seven shot her a dour look, and then urged her back into the hotel with a gentle pressure from the hand still in the small of Kathryn's back.

Once inside the lobby Seven dropped her hand. They rode the elevator in silence.

Kathryn put her palm to the key plate and the door to her room slid obediently open. She paused on the threshold.

"Good night, Seven." After a brief hesitation, she raised up on her toes to brush a soft kiss on Seven's cheek.

Without meeting her eyes, Kathryn turned and entered the suite.

"Oh and Seven?" Her voice came floating out the door. "Don't think I didn't notice that you paid for dinner tonight. Now I owe you _two_."

The door slid shut behind her.

Annika Hansen Janeway stood in the hallway outside her room, fingers resting lightly on her cheek where she could still feel Kathryn's lips.

With a sigh that she would never have allowed to slip out had anyone been present, she shook off the sudden feeling of melancholy and put her palm to her own door plate. It was definitely time to lose herself in sleep.


	3. Chapter 3 Shopping with the Borg

**The Second Time Around: A Christmas Tale**

Chapter 3 – Shopping with the Borg

Chakotay joined the group of ex-crewmates early the next day. Mid-morning found them hanging out in the hotel lobby, waiting for Harry and his wife Elizabeth to arrive.

Most of the crew were swapping 'remember when' stories. Seven had found a quiet corner near one of the decorated fir trees and was using the time to work through some computations for her latest research theory.

When the hotel doors slid open just after eleven hundred hours, all conversation stopped and all eyes turned toward the doors.

Elizabeth Kim entered the hotel, but she was alone. Everyone rose to greet her, barraging her with gentle inquiries.

"Harry's not with me," Elizabeth answered the main question. "It's still a little too much for him."

Elizabeth was soft spoken, a small and gentle woman of Asian descent. She looked tired.

"Actually, we were wondering…" She trailed off, then took a deep breath and seemed to muster her strength.

"Well, Harry asked to be moved to our cabin up at Whistler. His new legs have been bothering him a lot, and he's more comfortable there. We were wondering if you'd be willing to join us up on the mountain? I know you all have rooms booked here, but I'm sure we can find somewhere for you to stay…"

The group looked at each other, and then, automatically assuming command, Kathryn stepped forward.

"That sounds wonderful," the retired admiral responded on behalf of her old crew. There were murmurs of agreement from everyone behind her.

"Great." Elizabeth sighed with relief. "I'm just picking up a few things from our apartment which is a few blocks from here, then I'm heading back to be with Harry. We've managed to secure one extra cabin so far. Can you give us until tomorrow afternoon? We should have found space for everyone by then."

"Of course. Can we help? Do you need anything?" Kathryn asked.

"Just being there for Harry will be a huge help," Elizabeth replied. "I'm sorry I can't stay. But I'll see you all tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Kathryn agreed, wrapping her in a hug.

And then Elizabeth was gone.

"So what do we do with ourselves today?" asked Tom.

Several voices answered at once.

"Shopping!" "Basketball game!" "Space Needle!" "Art museum!"

"Alright, it sounds like we have lots of options," acknowledged the admiral. "So who's doing what?"

The former crewmates made plans and divided themselves into several groups. Chakotay and Tom wanted to see if they could find tickets to a basketball game. B'Elanna, the Doctor, and Tanya decided to try the Space Needle, and then maybe a museum or gallery.

"Am I the only one who wants to go shopping?" Kathryn bemoaned.

"Sorry Admiral, you're on your own!" Chakotay patted her on the shoulder before heading off with Tom in search of last minute tickets.

B'Elanna tossed a wave over her shoulder. The restaurant on top of the Space Needle served off-world food, and she was hoping for something Klingon. Ideally something _alive_. All of the dead, Earth-style food from the past few days was getting a trifle boring.

Kathryn turned to Seven, who was still working on her PADD.

"What about you, Seven? What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"Research." Seven didn't look up from her work.

Kathryn felt a flash of annoyance. This had been their modus operandi during their marriage. One or the other of them had always been working, and work had somehow always managed to take priority.

She nodded briskly and turned to gather her coat and head out the door. But Seven's voice stopped her.

"It is curious," said Seven, not looking up from her PADD. "You used to detest shopping. What's changed?"

"More time on my hands, I guess," replied Kathryn ruefully. "Plus I'd really like to pick something up for Harry and Elizabeth. I'm not sure what to get them though."

Still tapping away on her PADD, Seven stated blandly, "Harry likes historic naval fiction. Perhaps a novel that he can read while prone? Elizabeth collects off-world art. I believe the term she uses is 'knick knacks'. In particular she is fond of pieces depicting alien animals."

Kathryn's mouth dropped open. She snapped it shut and cleared her throat.

"Alright then, thanks for the ideas."

"I don't suppose you're any better at picking out gifts than you were when we were married?" Seven's voice was still deadpan.

"Um, no. Not really." Kathryn couldn't take offense. She really did have the worst taste when it came to gifts for other people.

"I suppose I must go with you then. Just let me return this to my room."

Seven stood and strode briskly to the elevator, still not looking at the older woman.

"Okay then," Kathryn said to the empty lobby. "It looks like we're going shopping."

xxxxx

Several hours later Seven was toting a number of bags while Kathryn window-shopped.

The temperature was hovering a few degrees above freezing. The streets were wet from rain earlier in the day, but none was falling at the moment. They sky was overcast and grey, but that did nothing to dampen the Christmas spirit in the city. Colourful lights adorned most of the shop windows and Christmas banners hung from the lamp posts.

"You used to hate this," Kathryn remarked, referring the ambling nature their shopping trip.

"It is inefficient," Seven agreed amicably. "But I am not averse to spending time in your company."

Rather than dwell on that statement, she continued, "Besides, I have learned the value in touching something before I purchase it. Weight and texture are _not_ irrelevant."

"Who taught you that? Jodi?" Kathryn inquired.

"No, Innes."

"I don't remember hearing about Innes," Kathryn mused.

"I dated Innes after Iek'meiaep, before Jessica. When I was living in Berlin. We weren't together for long, but it was… memorable. Innes had a way with tactile sensations…" Seven trailed off.

"Oh look!" Kathryn exclaimed, pointing at a window display. "Let's go in this store!" That was enough of that topic.

The store was full of clothing, mostly winter outerwear. Kathryn picked a soft, floral pastel scarf from a rack.

"Perhaps for B'Elanna?" she mused.

Seven shot her an incredulous look. "No," she said simply. Setting down the bags, she began rifling through the racks. After a few minutes later she turned to Kathryn triumphantly.

"This one." Seven was holding out the gaudiest scarf the former admiral had ever seen. Clashing reds and oranges and greens, woven from a thick, scratchy wool.

"You're kidding," Kathryn stated incredulously. "Aren't you…?"

"This one for B'Elanna, and this one," she picked up a more subdued plaid scarf, "would be appropriate for Tom."

"If you say so." The admiral had deferred most of the gift choices so far to Seven.

Kathryn returned the pastel scarf to the rack with one last lingering look. When she glanced back she realized that she had lost track of Seven. Several minutes later, she found the professor standing outside on the sidewalk, a new bag in hand.

"I purchased the scarves for B'Elanna and Tom," Seven lifted the bag in the air.

"Don't argue Kathryn," she pre-empted the words that were about to come out of the ex-admiral's mouth. "I tired of arguing with you over credits many years ago."

Snapping her mouth shut, Kathryn merely nodded.

"Well, how about some late lunch then?" Kathryn inquired, catching sight of a hot dog vendor on the next corner.

"I could consume something, yes," agreed Seven. She followed Kathryn's gaze. "But not that."

"Why not? There's nothing like a hot dog on a cold, winter day!"

"Nor, if I remember your opinion correctly, on a hot summer day, a warm summer evening, or at a birthday party, barbecue, or summer fair." The corner of Seven's mouth curled up, taking the sting out of her words.

"However," she continued, "I do not eat meat. Nor do I find hot dogs to contain much nutritional value."

"You don't eat meat anymore? Since when?" asked Kathryn.

"Eleven years and thirty three days," replied Seven. "Give or take."

"Give or take," Kathryn repeated, amused.

"Consuming animal flesh did not used to bother me," explained the professor. "Humans and other species breed and raise animals for the sole purpose of eating them, and as long as those animals are kept ethically and in good physical and mental health, I had no problem with consuming their flesh."

"However," she continued, "On Earth I've had the chance to observe a number of different animals, both as pets and in their natural habitats. I now find the prospect of eating their flesh to be… undesirable."

"Well, they have veggie dogs," Kathryn suggested.

Seven made a face. "I do not think so."

The admiral sighed, turning away from the enticing aroma of the hot dog stand.

"Japanese?" Seven suggested instead.

"Japanese," Kathryn confirmed with a nod.

xxxxx

Shopping trip completed, the duo returned to their hotel rooms before dinner.

Kathryn was more than ready for a nap. Seven, who had been running calculations in her head over their late lunch, nodded a quick good-bye and returned eagerly to her research.

Kathryn's alarm went off at 1930 hours. She blinked drowsily, surprised to find it that late already. The sun had gone down hours ago and her room was dark. Calling out for lights, she sat up and stretched her aching neck.

_Damn, I never used to nap during the day like that,_ she observed to herself. _In fact, most of the time I was up half the night too, drinking too much coffee and worrying over reports._

_Speaking of coffee…_

In bare feet she padded over to the replicator and ordered a cup of joe. Taking a sip, she winced. Seven was right, the food produced by the hotel replicators really was sub-par.

Two cups of inferior coffee later, the former admiral was feeling much more awake. Standing by the small closet, she flipped quickly through the clothes she had brought with her.

Chakotay had sent a quick note a few hours prior indicating that the gentlemen wished to take the ladies out for a night on the town.

The entire group had originally been planning to attend a Christmas gala in Seattle with the Kims, but since Harry wasn't going to be up for that sort of celebration, the men had decided that tonight would be a good night for an outing before they left the city the next day.

Chakotay had said 'formal wear', so Kathryn pulled out the single dress she had brought with her, originally intended for the gala. It was ivory in colour, falling gently to the floor around her bare feet. The dress was sleeveless and she had packed a deep red wrap to cover her shoulders.

She pulled her hair up into a French twist, much like the one Seven used to wear on Voyager, and put a pair of pearls in her ears. She had just finished applying some light makeup when she heard a chime in her room.

Padding into the main part of her suite, she was momentarily at a loss as to where the sound was coming from. The chime came again, accompanied by a blinking light on a panel beside the door that joined her room to Seven's.

She pressed the plate beside the door and heard the click as it unlatched.

The hotel had old-style doors that swung open instead of sliding into the wall. She grabbed the round door knob and turned it. The door easily swung open into Seven's suite, revealing a sight that caused Kathryn's mouth to drop open.

Seven was wearing a form-fitting black dress. It was modestly high at the neck, but that modesty was countered by the dangerous cut of the skirt which fell to just above Seven's knee on the right, and tapered down to mid-calf on the left.

Seven smiled to herself as she caught Kathryn's appreciative eyes wandering up and down her body.

"I apologize for disturbing you," she interrupted her ex's appraisal, "but I need your assistance with the back of my dress."

As she turned around, Kathryn had to stifle as gasp. The dress had an oval scoop in the back, leaving Seven's shoulder blades on display. Currently the zipper in the back was unfastened, exposing some of the remaining Borg metal on Seven's torso. Kathryn's fingers tingled at the memory of the warm metal under her fingertips, and she found she couldn't avert her eyes.

_Shut your mouth, Katie, and stop taking advantage of the view._

While Seven's Borg-enhanced body had superior strength and healing abilities, one thing that the Borg clearly did not value was flexibility. Kathryn knew from her long association with the woman that her artificial arm did not bend in such a way as to allow her to reach her upper back.

Seven had always required assistance with doing up zippers…

Or with washing her back…

Flustered, Kathryn stepped forward and grasped the zipper on the younger woman's dress. Shakily she drew the zipper closed, careful not to allow her fingers to brush metal or skin.

Suddenly a less appealing thought occurred to her. _If I weren't right next door, whose assistance was Seven planning on utilizing to get into her dress?_

"Done," she announced, dismayed at how breathless her voice sounded.

Seven appeared not to notice. "Thank-you," she said, striding gracefully back into her suite.

To cover the fact that her eyes were glued to the sight of the professor's buttocks as they sashayed away from her, Kathryn called out, "I really must get the name of your tailor. None of my clothing fits me like _that_."

Seven glanced back over her shoulder, a slight smirk on the corner of her lips. "Thank-you again Admiral, I will take that as a compliment. And I will see you downstairs shortly."

_Dismissed!_ Kathryn thought to herself. Feeling like a first year cadet, she turned and fled to the safety of her bathroom.

The door between their suites remained open.

xxxxx

Chakotay, Tom and the Doctor were in the hotel lobby, waiting for their 'dates' of the evening to appear. Chakotay and Tom were wearing suits, while the Doctor sported a black tux, complete with a seasonally red cummerbund and bow tie.

The lobby was quite busy, with guests coming and going and handful of children playing a game under one of the Christmas trees. At precisely 2000 hours the elevator doors opened to reveal Annika Hansen Janeway and her ex-wife, the retired Admiral Kathryn Janeway.

Tom let out a low whistle that was fortunately lost in noisy lobby.

The two women were a striking pair.

The retired admiral was wearing a shimmering, off-white dress that made her look feminine and gentle. Her hair was up, with a few strands falling softly around her face.

Her strength and steely nature were betrayed only in the devastatingly red lipstick that she wore, and by the firm look in her eyes as she approached the gentlemen.

All firmness dropped away however when she glanced sideways at Seven, at which point her expression softened and her red lips relaxed into a gentle smile.

Which was nothing new, Tom mused. Kathryn Janeway had always gone a bit mushy around her ex-Borg.

The professor, on the other hand, was dressed to kill in a little black dress that somehow managed to pull off both dangerous and elegant at the same time. She was wearing shiny, knee-high black boots with a three-inch heel, leaving her towering above her companion.

Intentionally or not, the two complimented each other perfectly. Light and dark, elegant and sexy, each with a jacket draped over their right arm.

Chakotay moved forward to greet them, helping slide jackets onto the shoulders of first the former admiral and then the professor.

Within minutes they were joined by B'Elanna and Tanya who were dressed festively in reds and greens. Tom whistled again, more loudly this time, and his wife smacked him on the back of his head. But a pleased grin played around her mouth and she accepted his arm happily.

The men had put their afternoon to good use. A limo, hired for the entire evening, was waiting for the party outside the lobby doors.

They started at a small upscale bar with martinis and appetizers. Dinner was a series of small plates in a posh restaurant with impeccable wait staff. They then retired to a cozy lounge for after dinner drinks and coffee.

Tom and B'Elanna watched the former Janeway couple with amusement throughout the evening. The two women both seemed to be making a point of sitting as far away from each other as possible, and yet they kept gravitating towards one another. When they found themselves together they always looked a bit startled and would nod politely before studiously moving to opposite ends of the group again. And yet their gazes kept straying from the conversations they were in, unconsciously seeking each other out.

Watching Kathryn, B'Elanna noted that this was nothing new. Her gaze had always seem to land on Seven of Nine, right from the moment the drone was severed from the Borg and forced to live among the Voyager crew. But Seven had usually exhibited more restraint that this.

"Do you think something is going on between them?" B'Elanna asked her husband in a low voice, tipping her head at the Janeways who had just found themselves once again standing side-by-side as they waited to retrieve their coats at the end of the evening.

Seven, looking mildly uncomfortable to suddenly find the ex-admiral so close at her side, gestured politely for Kathryn to go ahead of her and took a few steps backward to join the Doctor. Being holographic, the Doctor had simply caused his coat to be added to his matrix, and he happily engaged his 'favourite pupil' in a conversation about Christmas traditions.

"I don't know," Tom replied. "If there is, do you think it's a good thing? I mean, they were so angry with each other. They're only just barely friends again."

B'Elanna shrugged. "They always sparked off each other, one way or another."

"True," Tom nodded.

Catching Seven glancing their way, and remembering her extremely acute hearing, he quickly changed the subject.

"Have I told you how amazing you look tonight?" he leaned close to his wife of many years, allowing a lascivious grin onto his face.

"Not yet, Sailor," she growled, curling her fingers around his collar.

He gasped as her nails bit lightly into his skin.

"But take me back to our room and you can tell me again," she purred.

He nodded, somewhat breathless, and hurried to the coat check to retrieve their jackets.

xxxxx

Back at the hotel, the women thanked the men profusely for the wonderful evening out and the group split up into their respective hotel rooms.

Seven noticed that Tom and B'Elanna seemed to be in a bit of a hurry. _Perhaps they're tired after the long day._

Then she caught a glimpse of the hungry look on B'Elanna's face as the elevator doors slid shut behind them. _Perhaps not._

She left Kathryn in the lobby making plans for the travel to Whistler the next day. There were transporters available in both locations, but the cost was so high for civilians that the group had opted to take a more traditional form of transportation. Besides, it was a nice trip, not too long and offering beautiful scenery.

Up in her room, Seven removed her boots with some relief. They were definitely not an efficient form of footwear.

Unless you were trying to catch someone's attention, that is. _Did you like what you saw, Kathryn?_

Seven replayed the evening in her mind. She had carefully avoided her ex, making a point of socializing with their other friends. But multiple times throughout the evening she had glanced up to find Kathryn's warm gaze resting on her.

If she were perfectly honest with herself, which Seven always tried to be, she'd have to admit that she had done her own share of 'gazing' over the course of the night.

The warmth in her abdominal region when she contemplated the retired admiral was somewhat unsettling.

"I do not want these feelings," she said out loud. "We are friends. I have missed her friendship. I don't want to lose that again."

"Pardon me? Seven, did you say something?" Kathryn's gravelly voice floated through the still-open door between their suites.

Seven flushed slightly, not having heard the admiral return. Quickly, she strode to the adjoining door and took in the welcome sight of the other woman kicking off her own heels in the middle of the living area.

"Would you 'unzip' me?" she inquired, attempting to cover up her lapse.

_Maybe this wasn't the best idea,_ realized Seven as she once again presented her back to Kathryn. The older woman gently undid the zipper on the back of the black dress, her fingers lingering momentarily over the metal banding around Seven's abdomen.

Seven's face blushed an even deeper red, and she was glad that she was turned away.

Kathryn noticed the faint flush on Seven's face, but chalked it up to the alcohol consumed over the course of the evening. Alcohol had always had an unfortunate effect on Seven's cortical node, although she had learned to 'adapt' over the years so the effect wasn't as extreme as it had been at first.

"Thank-you again, and good night Admiral." Seven's voice was carefully devoid of any emotion as she stepped back into her suite. She pulled the adjoining door lightly closed behind her, but it didn't click shut, remaining open a crack.

"Good night, Seven. Sweet dreams," husked Kathryn.

She moved to close the door the rest of the way, but the thought of Seven on the other side was somewhat comforting. Hesitating momentarily, she chose to leave it the way it was. They were friends after all, weren't they?


	4. Chapter 4 On Snow and Whales

**The Second Time Around: A Christmas Tale**

Chapter 4 – On Snow and Whales

Morning found the retired admiral munching on a bagel and sipping a cup of bitter coffee, both retrieved from her suite's replicator. She was awake earlier than she would have liked, particularly given the late night previous.

_I'm getting old,_ she mused. _Sleeping during the day and not at night. I'm turning into my grandfather._

Wanting to dispel that depressing thought, she turned her attention to packing her bags. They were leaving the hotel in Seattle later that morning, travelling north across the border into Canada and up to Whistler where Harry's family kept a cabin.

She laid out some casual travelling clothes for the day and stepped into the bathroom for a shower. After a quick debate, she decided on a hydro shower instead of a sonic one. She was early and there was plenty of time to dry her hair before they had to leave.

After her shower she dressed quickly and finished packing her bag, setting it by the door. There were also numerous shopping bags, full of the purchases she and Seven had made the day before. _I'll have to find some time to wrap those._

Speaking of Seven…

Kathryn eyed the door between their suites, still sitting slightly ajar.

_Should I…?_

Cautiously, she approached the door and knocked lightly before pushing it open into Seven's suite.

The professor was dressed, reclining on her tidily made bed. There was a PADD in her hand and maybe half a dozen more spread out beside her, but her attention wasn't on her work. Instead she was focussed on the holovision, although Kathryn couldn't see what Seven was watching from this angle.

"Good morning Kathryn." Seven's simple smile tossed casually in her direction caused the bagel and coffee to lurch unsettlingly in Kathryn's stomach.

"Good morning Seven. Did you sleep well?"

"My slumber was adequate," the younger woman replied. In truth she had experienced a wonderful sleep, her dreams full of the woman standing in her doorway. But she chose not share that piece of information.

"You're up early," she said instead. "Are you ready to go?"

"I am. I see you're organized as well." Kathryn nodded at Seven's bag, also packed and sitting by her front door.

"Indeed. I was trying to get some work done, but I'm stymied by this particular series of equations." Seven allowed some frustration to creep into her voice. Then she shrugged it off.

"I sometimes find that watching inane holovision, 'turning my brain off', can be helpful in these situations." She sat up straighter on her bed and gestured for Kathryn to enter her suite.

"You may come in," she offered.

Kathryn took a few steps into the room, smiling. "What 'inane' holo show have you found this morning?" she inquired.

"I believe you are familiar with this one." Seven inclined her head at the holovision on the wall.

Kathryn came the rest of the way into the room. She groaned when she caught sight of the show on the holovision.

"'Adventures in the Delta Quadrant'!" she exclaimed. "They're still showing that?"

Seven slid her feet over to make room and Kathryn settled onto the edge of the bed. Almost instantly she was wrapped up in the children's cartoon show.

"This is utterly preposterous," Kathryn muttered a few minutes later. "The Hirogen weren't that big. Nor did they speak like that. And I certainly never invited one to dine with me!"

On the holovision, the cartoon Hirogen warrior had misunderstood the cartoon captain's invitation for dinner and was busy sprinkling her with salt and pepper. The captain, rather dense, finally figured out what he was doing. She leapt up from her chair, which fell backwards onto the floor, and ran three times around the room before trying to escape out the door.

With a 'clunk', the cartoon captain's enormous red hair connected with the doorframe and the character fell flat on her back. The Hirogen stood over her, licking his lips. A thought bubble appeared over his head containing a picture of a cooked turkey. Artificial laughter was heard in the background.

"I can't believe you're watching this crap." Kathryn shot a dark look at Seven, who was regarding her with open amusement.

"It's merely a cartoon show for children, Kathryn." Seven's words were soothing, but her voice held suppressed laughter.

Kathryn's eyes narrowed further.

Then the holoshow caught her attention again.

A cartoon Seven of Nine had come in. The character was overly proportioned, heavy in the breast and hips, impossibly narrow at the waist. She stood over the captain with the large hair and ran what was presumably a tricorder over her prone body.

"They've got your implant on the wrong hand," Kathryn murmured distractedly.

Seven glanced down at her left hand, which now appeared perfectly human after several surgeries a number of years prior.

Back on the holovision, the top-heavy Seven of Nine was informing the Hirogen warrior that the captain was unsuitable eating material and would cause indigestion. There was more artificial laughter. The Hirogen character slumped his shoulders in disappointment and sulked out of the room.

The cartoon Seven of Nine reached down and grabbed her captain's arm, presumably with the intention of helping her to her feet. With a jerk, the cartoon captain was catapulted into the air. Her large red head bounced off the ceiling, then she landed on her butt with her legs splayed. Seven of Nine apologized to her captain over the canned laughter.

"_It is my enhanced Borg strength,"_ crooned the character, batting her eyelashes.

Steam came out of the cartoon captain's ears and sparks flew from her head.

_Well, at least they got the part about the sparks flying right._ Kathryn rolled her eyes.

The holovision switched to advertising and Seven flicked it off.

"Come," the professor said. "It's clear I'm not going to finish this computation today, and your blood pressure is rising beyond a reasonable level. Shall we see if we can find you a decent cup of coffee before we have to leave?"

"You don't have to ask me twice!" Kathryn was off the bed in a flash.

"Why would I ask you twice?" Seven deadpanned.

"Ha ha. Seven, you're almost as funny as that cartoon."

Out of habit, Seven placed a hand in the small of Kathryn's back as she steered her out the door and in search of a decent cup of coffee.

xxxxx

Around mid-day they caught a hovercraft from Seattle's harbour that took them north. It flew low over the water, affording them a beautiful view of the islands and vegetation of the west coast.

Due to the high population on the planet most of the larger islands were inhabited, but many of the smaller ones remained in their natural states with bare rock and hardy coastal trees. Seagulls dived around craft looking for handouts.

Seven spent most of the hour-long voyage on the outside deck with Chakotay, chatting quietly and watching the scenery. Kathryn, who found it far too cold and windy to be outside on the water at this time of year, watched them moodily through the window.

Just before crossing the border, Seven rose to her feet and called out, pointing into the waves. Almost immediately the other passengers crowded around the windows. Kathryn tried to peer over the crowd, but found to her annoyance that she couldn't see.

"Over here, Admiral!" The Doctor and Tanya waved her over to their vantage point and she squeezed in beside them.

Off the port bow of the vessel, a pod of five orca whales was leaping in the waves. Kathryn gasped in amazement.

It wasn't that long ago that the oceans of Earth had been completely dead, and the whales along with them. In 2286, James Kirk and his crew had travelled back in time and returned with a single humpback whale. Realizing that the whale could not survive on its own, scientists around the globe had quickly started a major ocean rehabilitation project, eventually returning many species to the wild.

This was the first time that Kathryn had ever seen a live whale. They were magnificent creatures, graceful in their movements, and she felt a lump forming in her throat.

Equally amazing was the sight of the cool Professor Annika Hansen Janeway standing on the outside deck of the hovercraft, arms outstretched, tears of happiness running down her face.

Kathryn craned her neck, watching until the whales had disappeared from sight.

Finally the crowd broke up, and Kathryn noticed that Chakotay was standing alone.

xxxxx

Seven was inside the hovercraft, splashing cold water on her face in one of the washrooms. It was illogical – why should the sight of whales cause a reaction in her tear ducts?

And yet she knew why.

These amazing, family-oriented mammals had been gone from the planet for over one hundred and fifty years. The fact that they had been brought back, and were living in the wild, was nothing short of a miracle. In addition, the presence of whales meant that there must be some form of intact ecosystem, otherwise the 'killer whales' would have nothing to feed on.

A miracle indeed.

Seven patted her face dry and took a few deep breaths, attempting to settle into her usual composure.

An announcement came over the comm. system informing the passengers that they were docking and should prepare themselves to clear customs.

Stepping out of the washroom, Seven slid into the crowd waiting to disembark. Her height gave her a distinct advantage and it didn't take long to locate her former crewmates.

Kathryn stepped up beside her and looked up at her with warm eyes. "Beautiful," was all she said.

Seven nodded, not feeling quite ready to speak yet.

Ten minutes later they were off the hovercraft, had collected their baggage, and were in a line to clear customs to be granted official entry into Canada.

With the exception of Starfleet personnel, most people coming on and off world were subject to fairly intense custom screenings.

This inter-country screening was more of a formality as they were simply moving from one country to another on the same planet. It was more of a way for the governing bodies to keep track of who was in their claimed territory.

With so many people travelling two days before Christmas, the customs staff were busy but relaxed. Kathryn passed through the bioscanner first and the customs official gave her a polite nod.

It was Seven's turn next.

Accustomed to sometimes having a bit of hassle due to her Borg implants, Seven paused on the other side and cocked her eyebrow at the official, waiting for him to either give her an 'okay' or to ask her further questions.

However, he did neither. Looking up from his instrumentation, he beamed at her.

"Dr. Janeway!" He was positively bubbling. "I took your course on Advanced Quantum Mechanics at Stanford last year."

Seven looked at him more closely, and then did a quick search through her eidetic memory banks.

"Correct. Steven Jonson, I believe?" she inquired politely.

"Call me Steve," he beamed. "I loved your course. I'm finishing up my undergrad this spring. Will you be teaching anything else I can take?"

Seven cocked her head, accessing her course schedule for the following year. "Not at Stanford, but I am teaching two sections of an Advanced Wave Theory class at Berkley."

Steve deflated slightly, disappointed.

"However," Seven continued, "I am also giving a lecture at the James T. Kirk Institute in San Francisco on February 18th. The talk is for the general public, so it may be below your level of study…"

"Oh no, I'll be there! February 18th, right?"

Seven nodded.

"Well, I've kept you long enough," Steve said. "It was really nice seeing you."

As an afterthought, he added, "I hope you and your wife have a great Christmas!"

"Ex-wife," both Seven and Kathryn corrected automatically.

"Oh, sorry," he shrugged, and then added a cheerful, "Merry Christmas!" before turning to the next person in line.

"Ex-wife," Kathryn repeated, moving towards the exit doors. "Why does no one get the 'ex' part?"

"Maybe it's because you don't act like exes," B'Elanna said cheekily as she breezed past, leaving Seven and Kathryn staring after her in stunned confusion.

xxxxx

The transport to Whistler Village was a short one. Elizabeth and her brother Jon met them in the main square, both wearing warm jackets and thick gloves. It was snowing lightly, and about half an inch of fresh snow crunched under their feet as they followed their hosts through the crowds.

Kathryn flipped up the collar of her coat and pulled the scarf tighter around her neck, tucking her hands into her pockets. The wind was cold.

Jon had scooped up her bags back in the village square, and was now chatting about trivial things as he led the way with his sister.

"More snow over the next few days, I expect," he rumbled.

Unlike little Elizabeth, who was quite diminutive, Jon was a big man, strong but gentle. He had a kind face with broad cheekbones and smile lines around his eyes. Of Chinese descent, his hair was thick and greying. Kathryn had a hard time judging his age, but guessed it was probably close to her own.

His heavy plaid jacket was hanging open and snowflakes clung to the sweater he wore underneath. He led the way through the crowds, chatting easily.

"Any of you ski?" he asked.

Tanya and the Doctor nodded. B'Elanna made a so-so gesture with her hand, and Seven shrugged one shoulder. "I've tried it," she said.

"The village is packed for the holidays, but the slopes are pretty empty. If anyone's interested I'll take you up tomorrow."

"There's also sleigh rides this time of year, and cross-country skiing and snow shoeing," he said. "We have some equipment, so just let us know…"

"Ah, here we are." They had arrived at a pair of hovercars. "We managed to find accommodations for everyone, although it wasn't easy right before Christmas. The hotels are all full up, but we got a few little cabins that have been sitting empty."

He popped open the trunks of the cars and began loading the bags.

Elizabeth turned to the group and began ticking off the accommodations. "Tom, B'Elanna, Doctor, and Tanya, we've got a large two bedroom suite with a full kitchen set aside for you. And a hot tub. Will that be okay?"

"Sounds great." Tom and B'Elanna nodded appreciatively.

Tanya hushed the Doctor's protest of "…but my matrix doesn't do well in water over thirty degrees Celcius," with a gentle kiss before turning and giving her agreement as well.

"Chakotay, we thought you might be most comfortable with us," Elizabeth continued. "Our boys have found their own places, so we've got a spare bedroom at the back of the house. It's quiet and tucked away."

"Sounds perfect, thank-you." Chakotay smiled appreciatively.

With a sinking feeling, Kathryn realized who that left her with.

Elizabeth confirmed the retired admiral's thoughts. "Admiral, Seven, we found one more little cabin. It's a two-bedroom, but not big enough for four people. I hope you're okay to share…?"

Chakotay had reported to Elizabeth that the two women seemed to have re-forged their friendship, but she was still concerned that this might be an awkward situation for them.

"If it doesn't work for you, we can juggle things around," she continued hastily.

"Yup," added Jon. "Know lots of folks in town who may have a spare bedroom somewhere. Just let us know."

"No, the accommodations you have provided will be sufficient," replied Seven firmly. "I would prefer not to 'bunk' with a stranger."

"Right then," Jon nodded. "Admiral, Professor, Chakotay, you're with me. Everyone else with Liz."

Jon drove slowly out of the parking lot and onto the main road. The hovercar had been specially adapted to recognize the soft snowy surface and the ride was smooth, although there were quite a few other vehicles on the road as well a number of transport busses.

"Lifts just closed," Jon remarked. He was referring to the fact that the ski lifts had shut down for the evening and the streets were full of skiers on their way home after a day on the slopes.

They drove for a few minutes in silence before he pulled off onto a windy lane with high snow banks. Around them was a quaint winter wonderland. Evergreen trees were heavy with snow, and cottage lights glowed in the pending dusk. Jon settled the car into the snow in front of a small log cabin.

"Here we are then," he said. He slid out of the car and took several large strides to bring himself to the front door. He keyed open the lock and brought up the lights inside.

"Cabin is old, but retrofitted with modern amenities. Heat's been on for a few hours now so it's toasty warm. Lights are here. I've cleared the locking mechanism so you can program it for yourselves."

He offered Kathryn his arm and helped her out of the hovercar. The snow was deeper here, up to their ankles in the driveway and piled even higher around the cabin itself. The admiral was glad she had chosen to put on her boots this morning.

Keeping hold of Kathryn's arm he escorted her inside the cabin, then gave her a warm smile. "Be right back with your bags."

Seven watched the interaction with a sharp eye as she retrieved her own luggage.

Once all bags had been deposited in the little cabin, Jon turned to leave.

"Oh," he added, turning back. "Dinner tonight is at Liz and Harry's around eighteen hundred. There's a transport bus that comes by the main road every fifteen minutes that will drop you off right in front of their place. Liz sent directions, and you can find a schedule for the bus on your terminal. Or if you want, just contact me and I'll pop down and pick you up."

"That won't be necessary," Seven said in a cool voice.

A bit taken aback by Seven's demeanour, particularly since she herself found Jon to be quite genuine in his friendliness, Kathryn asked, "Will we be seeing you at dinner?"

"Yup. Gotta drop Chakotay off and run a few errands, but I'll be there a little later." Kathryn noted that Jon's eyes twinkled when he smiled.

"Wonderful, we look forward to seeing you then." Kathryn stressed the 'we' slightly, tossing a quick glance over her shoulder at Seven. _I'm not sure what's going on for you, but please behave!_

The professor felt a flash of annoyance. Apparently the admiral was trying to control her behaviour again.

"Thank-you for delivering us to our accommodations," she said. _See Admiral, I can be perfectly polite._

"My pleasure. See you later, ladies." Jon nodded at them both and then slipped out the door into the snow.

xxxxx

The cabin was indeed small, but very cozy. There was a compact living space with a couch and an armchair arranged in front of an artificial fireplace. A computer terminal was tucked discretely into the corner, its screen dark at the moment. Several paintings depicting wilderness scenes were hung on the wall, and an ancient pair of wooden skis was mounted above the fireplace.

Beside the living space was a small kitchen containing a refrigeration unit, a heating unit, and a small prep area. Much to Kathryn's relief there was also a replicator tucked into the counter, along with a device for making coffee and tea.

Someone, probably Elizabeth, had stocked some drinks in the refrigeration unit, and there was an unopened bag of coffee beans on the counter. A basket of oranges sat beside the coffee beans.

Exploring further, Kathryn discovered a bathroom with a full soaker tub. Flanking the bathroom were two small bedrooms.

There was a wooden bench by the front door, and racks and pegs for holding ski equipment and winter clothing. Kathryn took off her boots and jacket, placing them in the designated areas.

Seven had already removed her own outer clothing and was in the process of moving her luggage into the bedroom on the right. She then stacked the shopping bags tidily against the far wall, and picked up Kathryn's suitcase to move it into the room on the left.

"Thanks," Kathryn tossed over her shoulder. She moved into the kitchen area and selected an orange from the basket, working off the peel with practised fingers.

When Seven reappeared from the bedroom, Kathryn tore the orange in two and playfully whipped one half at Seven's head.

Seven's quick reflexes kicked in and she snapped the orange out of the air a mere two inches in front of her nose. She cocked the implant above her left eye. Then she delicately peeled off a section of the orange and popped it in her mouth, allowing her eyes to slide shut as she savoured its tangy flavour.

Kathryn cleared her throat, looking away. "Guess I'll go settle in then…" She beat a hasty path into the bedroom Seven had chosen for her.

Back in the living area, Seven smirked.

xxxxx

This was going to be the first time Kathryn had seen Harry since he was injured and she was feeling somewhat nervous. One of her former colleagues at Starfleet had sent her the file, so physically she knew what to expect, but Harry's emotional state was a whole other matter.

She and Seven had walked down to the main road and caught the transport bus which, as promised, had delivered them right to Beth and Harry's doorstep. Elizabeth had taken their coats and was now leading the way upstairs.

It was really quite a bit more than a cabin, Kathryn realized as she reached the top of the stairs. More of full-sized house, it was built on multiple levels, with an open concept and tasteful décor.

She noticed a shelf displaying 'knick-knacks', little figurines of all manner of animals from around the galaxy. She smiled, thinking of the miniature Targ family she and Seven had picked out the day before.

"Harry's in there," Elizabeth gestured to the living area. "I'll just go fix some drinks."

The living area was large and decorated for the holidays. A Christmas tree stood in one corner with a cheerful pile of presents tucked underneath. Two small children – Harry's grandchildren, Kathryn realized with a jolt – were hanging homemade decorations on the tree. Harry's older son was sprawled on the floor beside them, lending a hand and redistributing craft materials as required.

Kathryn took in the entire scene with a smile before allowing her eyes to land on Harry. He was looking better than she'd expected. His skin had good colour to it and his hair was starting to grow in. His new legs were propped out in front of him on a large ottoman.

In general he looked quite well, with the exception of his eyes. Those were tired, defeated.

Kathryn immediately went to his side.

"Harry," she said warmly, grasping his hand. "How are you?"

"Admiral," he acknowledged a little stiffly. Then his face softened. "Kathryn. It's nice to see you."

"It's wonderful to see you as well." She settled into the couch beside him, still clasping his hand.

Seven approached them and leaned down to kiss his cheek.

"Harry Kim, I am glad to see you looking better," she stated.

"Thanks Seven. And thanks for all your help. Your friend has been amazing," he said.

Seven merely nodded, and then moved away to assist Elizabeth in the kitchen.

"Seven's been involved in your care?" Kathryn inquired.

"Starfleet Medical has been giving me their best," Harry said. "But after Seven heard about my injuries, she tracked down a neurosurgeon in Berlin, Innes Schaefer."

_The tactile ex-girlfriend,_ Kathryn surmised.

"Dr. Schaefer has been here three times a week, stimulating my nerve growth. Look at this!" He pointed at his left foot, which twitched back and forth. While he seemed pleased, there was also something a little… off… in his tone.

"Human to artificial connections," he declared. "Almost Borg-like. I can feel the skin on my legs too. I was told that I'd probably never be able to feel my feet again... too much never damage. But Dr. Schaefer is very thorough. And she's never charged us a thing. I think Seven's taking care of that too…"

He cleared his throat. "I'm not sure how to thank her..."

"I don't think she needs your thanks, Harry," said Kathryn, knowing it to be true. "Just seeing you get better is the best thanks of all."

They sat quietly, watching Harry's friends and family celebrate around them. In addition to other former crew-members from Voyager, the room was also filled with several of Harry's friends from later in life, along with his sons, their wives, and his two young grandsons.

Harry's eyes lit up whenever someone laughed or when his grandsons started an impromptu game of tag, but he seemed disinclined to participate, preferring just to observe.

Dinner was served buffet-style, with everyone filling their plates and then lounging around the living room.

Kathryn was working her way through a plate piled high with fish and seasonable vegetables when Elizabeth's brother Jon stomped up the stairs, brushing the snow out of his short hair. She perked up involuntarily, catching his eye and giving him a little wave with her fork.

_Really, Katie?_ her inner voice chastised.

"It's really coming down out there," he declared, grabbing an empty plate and working his way down the buffet table. He glanced back in Kathryn's direction and gave her a wink. Unexpectedly Kathryn blushed, and dropped her eyes to her plate of food.

Her head was still down when Jon dropped onto the couch beside her. Hastily she shoved another fork full of food into her mouth.

Seven, seated on the floor between B'Elanna and the two young boys, noted Kathryn's reaction to Harry's brother-in-law. She stamped down on another surge of irrational dislike for the man. _Illogical. Kathryn may spend time with whomever she chooses._

And he was, Seven noted, a rather handsome man. Strong in body, gentle in spirit. Exactly what most women were looking for in a mate.

_I am not most women,_ Seven noted. _I did not think Admiral Janeway was 'most women' either. _

Abruptly she set her plate down on the floor, a little too hard, and rose to her feet.

"Excuse me, I require another beverage," she said to B'Elanna, and then fled into the kitchen.

In the empty kitchen Seven paced back and forth. This was exactly why she had been careful to maintain a distance from her ex-wife. Kathryn had always been able to bring her the most joy, but she had brought the most pain also.

Seven considered herself to be many years older and wiser than when she had first fallen for the captain of the starship Voyager, and so she found herself frustrated that her emotions were being so easily overturned again. Her recent break-up with her long-time partner Jodi had been painful, to be sure…

_But Jodi never got under my skin like Kathryn does!_

_Kathryn makes me feel so safe. And yet she's also the most irritating, self-righteous woman I have ever met. _

Seven's mind fell down a familiar track. _Kathryn believes she knows how others should think and feel. She commands all the people around her. She speaks on their behalf. She speaks on _my_ behalf. She thinks she knows best all the time._

But that wasn't really fair. That was the Kathryn of old, to be sure, but these past few days the retired admiral had been… collaborative. Pleasant. Playful even. Certainly not abrasive or controlling at all.

In fact, spending time with Kathryn had been… fun.

_Being with Kathryn has been fun,_ Seven repeated to herself.

And then Seven looked up and straight into Kathryn's eyes, and a little part of her melted.

The admiral had seen Seven disappear suddenly into the kitchen. After a few moments of hesitation, she put down her plate, waved off Jon's inquiry, and followed the ex-drone.

Inside the kitchen she noted that Seven was pacing. That was never good. Seven only lost her cool outwardly when something big was going on inside.

Suddenly the younger woman caught sight of her and stopped. Their eyes met. Involuntarily, Kathryn smiled.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

Seven jerked backwards.

"Perfect," she said coldly. Then, seeing the flinch in Kathryn's eyes, she allowed her voice to soften.

"I find the holidays challenging…" she added.

This wasn't quite the truth, but it was enough to send Kathryn off the scent.

"So you've said a few times," the former admiral observed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Seven hesitated. "Maybe later," she allowed.

Kathryn moved a little closer. Hesitantly she reached out. Seeing that the younger woman wasn't going to pull away, she wrapped a hand around her upper arm and squeezed gently.

Seven's whole world narrowed down to just the two of them. Kathryn was so close, looking up at her through thick eyelashes. In her gaze there was nothing but kindness and affection.

_I'm going to kiss her,_ Seven realized suddenly. Her heartbeat was loud in her ears. _If she doesn't do something I'm going to lean down and kiss her._

But for long moments neither of them moved. Then Kathryn was drawing her in, not for a kiss, but for a gentle hug.

Seven slowly relaxed in the older woman's arms. Eventually her mind stopped spinning and her heartbeat slowed. She pulled out of the embrace slowly.

"Better?" Kathryn asked.

"Indeed," replied Seven. "Your mother always did say that a hug solved everything."

_Almost everything,_ corrected her internal voice.

A hug couldn't solve these feelings that were rapidly growing in her heart.

xxxxx

Back at their little cabin, Seven was puttering in the kitchen, storing some basic foodstuffs that she had picked up on the way home. Fresh fruit, some bread and cheese, and muffins for breakfast. She preferred to avoid using the replicator whenever possible.

Kathryn, finding herself wide awake, held up the bottle of wine that had been her purchase on the way home.

"Join me?" she asked.

The professor nodded. She put the last of the groceries away, retrieved a cork screw and two wine glasses, and joined Kathryn in the small living room. Handing the items to ex-admiral, she turned on the artificial fire and lowered the lights, leaving the little cabin feeling warm and cozy.

Kathryn poured two glasses of wine, handed one to Seven, and then settled herself into the small couch. Seven dropped gracefully into the armchair and raised her glass.

"Happy holidays, Kathryn," she toasted.

"Happy holidays," the retired admiral replied, her voice soft and low.

They chatted for a while, Seven catching Kathryn up on her latest research, and Kathryn describing how retired life was treating her.

"I'm actually busier than ever," she admitted. "I'm taking a painting class, I'm in the pool five mornings a week, and I'm doing some consulting for the UFP. I think I'd gotten a little too used to sitting behind a desk," she finished ruefully. "All of this activity the past few months has been a bit of a shock."

One of Seven's PADDs beeped. Seven twisted to pick it up, missing the admiring glance Kathryn shot at the flexing muscles in her shoulders and torso.

The professor reviewed the information quickly, entered a short response, then placed the PADD on the coffee table in front of them.

"Everything okay?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes. That was just my neighbour, Ana. She's been looking after my cat, and she promised to give me daily updates."

"You have a cat?" The admiral was surprised.

"I do."

"What's its name?"

"His name is Mr. Moo," Seven replied fondly.

Kathryn choked on her wine. "Seriously?"

"Yes." The professor was somewhat affronted. Mr. Moo was a perfectly good name for a cat. However, she sensed that further explanation may be required.

"Ana named him. She was six at the time. She found him as a stray on the street, but her father wouldn't let her keep him."

"He's black and white, like some bovines," she added somewhat unnecessarily.

"Ah." Kathryn was relieved, the younger woman's explanation dispelling the image of a sexy neighbour prowling Seven's apartment while she was away.

"Ana is half human, half Bolian," Seven volunteered. "She often feels… out of place… Like she doesn't fit in with either culture. As this is a feeling I can understand, she comes to talk to me when she feels sad."

Kathryn's heart melted. "Seven, that's lovely. Just like you and Naomi back on Voyager."

"Somewhat," Seven acknowledged. "Ana is a very special child, but also very challenged. I thought the responsibility of looking after Mr. Moo while I was away would be good for her. So far she has risen to the challenge admirably."

"That's wonderful." If the admiral was getting a little too mushy, she chose not to notice. "I'm glad you have someone like that in your life. And your cat too, of course."

Seven was feeling good. She hadn't spoken about this part of her life to any of her friends or colleagues since had Jodi left. Kathryn was listening to her intently, encouraging conversation. Suddenly she felt like sharing more.

"They are both important additions," Seven acknowledged. "However, both Ana and Mr. Moo were a cause of strife between myself and Jodi, and may have partially led to the demise of our relationship."

"How so?"

"Jodi and I were together for almost eight years, but we had chosen not share a dwelling space. She preferred to keep a larger house, while I found my apartment more than adequate, and also conveniently located. Jodi did not enjoy spending time in my small apartment, preferring that we spend evenings and weekends at her place."

"I see how that could cause a problem once you got your cat," the admiral acknowledged.

"Indeed. In addition, I have granted Ana access to my apartment, even when I am not home. It is a place she can go where she feels safe. She comes and goes as she pleases, and over time Jodi began to feel like we were constantly being disturbed. However it was not something I was willing to compromise on."

Kathryn was feeling offended on her friend's behalf. "She shouldn't have asked you to compromise on something like that."

"Perhaps," Seven acknowledged before continuing. "We began fighting more often, and eventually neither of us were keen to spend time with the other…"

"So split up. You were never married?" Kathryn clarified.

Seven shook her head. "We were not. While we enjoyed being together, I don't believe we were ever fully committed."

Kathryn contemplated this while she refilled both their wineglasses.

"Seven…" The older woman hesitated, then asked the question that had been bugging her for quite some time. "Why did you keep my last name?"

The professor paused for a moment, then shrugged. "It seemed to belong to me more than 'Hansen' ever did. It was also the publishing name for my research. Changing it would have been awkward."

What she didn't tell Kathryn was that it was much more than the hassle that had affected her, and that the belonging went deeper than just the name.

She had been accepted by the entire Janeway family, which had given her a sense of grounding that she hadn't even known she was missing. Even after they'd split, Seven was loathe to give that up. Kathryn's mother and sister had continued to show her affection, albeit from a distance.

Meanwhile, Admiral Janeway was still constantly in the news, one of the poster girls for the new image that Starfleet and the Federation were trying to create after the Dominion War.

So she'd clung to the name, the last remnant of her association with the woman she'd admired for so long, and family which had given her so much support and affection.

In truth, part of her had still felt like she belonged to the other woman. Perhaps part of her still felt that way.

"Was the name ever a problem for you?" Kathryn inquired. Sometimes she'd thought about changing the name herself. The instant recognition it brought her grew tiring on occasion.

Misunderstanding the question, Seven smiled ruefully. "Sometimes. Jodi didn't like the fact that I still carried your name," she admitted.

_Of course not,_ Kathryn cackled to herself. _I'd hate it if my partner was carrying someone else's name too. But enough about Jodi…_

"Harry told me about Dr. Schaefer," Kathryn moved the conversation along. "Is that the Innes you were referring to the other day?"

"Yes," Seven confirmed.

"So you're still in touch with her?"

_Is that a touch of jealousy, Kathryn?_ Seven noted Kathryn's reaction with interest.

"Only professionally," she clarified.

"And what about 'Ikmeep'?"

"Iek'meiaep." Seven rolled and clicked the syllables in a way that Kathryn could never hope to reproduce.

"We dated for about a year. I discovered that some cultures are even less compatible than Borg and Human. She returned to her home world, but still sends her regards on an annual basis."

"And how's Chakotay?" Kathryn inquired.

"Chakotay?" Seven echoed.

"I saw you speaking with him on the hovercraft today. And since we're going through a litany of your previous relationships…"

_Aha, that _is_ jealousy!_ Seven felt a little smug at her realization.

"Chakotay and I were only together for a few months…"

"…Before you discovered what you were looking for in a relationship," Kathryn finished.

"Before you finally made your move," Seven clarified.

They smiled at each other.

"Chakotay is still feeling the loss of his wife." Seven sobered as she answered the original question. His wife had died three years prior from an aggressive, untreatable form of cancer.

"He is sad… but adapting. He travels a lot, meeting many new people."

Kathryn nodded, knowing most of that already.

"You still care for him." Kathryn could see a reflection of Chakotay's pain in Seven's eyes.

"Only as a friend, if that's what you mean." Seven repositioned herself in her chair, deciding it was time for a turn in the conversation. And she knew exactly what she wanted to turn the conversation to.

"How about you, Kathryn? We've gone through my list of companions. What about your list. You do not have a companion at the moment?"

"I um… no." Kathryn was startled at suddenly having the tables turned on her. "Not in many years. I don't… I don't fall in love easily."

"Elizabeth's brother Jon is a handsome man," Seven observed.

Kathryn blushed slightly and looked away. _Busted._

"Yes, yes he is," she murmured.

Seven experienced a sinking feeling in her chest. She had meant to prod Kathryn gently for information, to see if any of the feelings that were buzzing inside her were occurring in Kathryn as well.

But apparently not. Apparently Kathryn's attention was on Harry's brother-in-law. She had been mistaken in her assessment of Kathryn's emotional state, and had nearly made a fool out of herself.

Falling back on the safety of old habits, Seven made a scientific observation. "Your behaviour is most logical, not limiting yourself to a single gender. Your choice in mates would be greatly enhanced."

"I suppose," Kathryn wondered where that statement had come from. It was true that she had found both women and men attractive in the past. However she failed to see how that was relevant to the current conversation. And besides…

"You've limited yourself to a single gender, haven't you?" she observed.

"I suppose I am not entirely 'logical' then. A flaw of being Human."

"Fair enough," Kathryn grinned.

Her smile faded slowly when Seven didn't meet her eyes.

Their conversation stalled. Both women sipped quietly at their wine, eyes averted from one another.

Seven gazed moodily at the fire, observing that the pattern of the artificial flames repeated itself every 42.8 seconds. Meanwhile, Kathryn pondered the question of what could have caused their conversation to go sideways so abruptly.

After a few minutes, Kathryn remembered something she had been meaning to follow up with Seven about.

"Seven, in Beth's kitchen tonight you said that the holidays are hard for you. Do you want to talk about it?" She fell easily back into the role of mentor. That was something that had always felt safe, a role in which she had always been in control.

Seven stayed quiet for so long that Kathryn thought she wasn't going to answer.

When Seven finally spoke, her voice was distant. "I have learned to appreciate the meaning of 'friends and family'," she said. She continued to gaze into the fireplace.

"However, Christmas in particular always feels… forced. There is so much build up, and then suddenly it is done. People get overly excited beforehand, then overly irritated and depressed when the holiday is passed."

"True." Kathryn nodded, waiting for the other woman to continue.

"All of this focus is around an artificial holiday that has very little to do its original meaning – celebrating the birth of Christ – and now has everything to do with consuming copious amounts of food and buying expensive gifts that often one cannot afford."

Seven paused, then continued a little more slowly.

"Jodi left just after Christmas last year. Upon terminating our relationship she informed me that I cared more about my cat than I did about her, and that I wasn't trying hard enough to make her happy, or to consider her feelings."

When Seven finally turned to look at Kathryn, her eyes were dry but filled with sadness and confusion. "I never fully understood this…"

"Expectations, Seven," the former admiral stated softly. "It's all about expectations."

"Explain."

"We all have expectations of each other on a daily basis. But on special occasions, and at Christmas in particular, those expectations often climb too high.

"We remember Christmases from our childhood, where everything was magical… Presents and games and the belief in Santa Claus…"

"But I do not remember Christmas from my childhood," Seven interrupted.

"Perhaps that's part of the disconnect," Kathryn suggested. "Most of us do remember those Christmases. As an adult, nothing can compare to that magic. Yet we still carry those expectations, which we tend to put on the ones we love most. We expect the perfect present, the perfect holiday, the perfect response to our actions and gifts.

"And yet no one is perfect," Kathryn finished. "Those expectations can never be met. It makes the holiday very challenging for many people."

"Is that what happened to us?" Seven inquired. "Our third Christmas together we did nothing but argue."

"Yes, I suppose," Kathryn allowed.

Seven, feeling raw in her disappointment, allowed her voice harden as she ticked off a list of old frustrations.

"You wished for me to attend a Christmas gathering with your staff, even though I had been invited to Naomi's concert at the same time. You wished for me to spend time with your Starfleet colleagues, when I would rather have spent it with our family. Your expectations of me were unreasonable and didn't take my own wishes into account."

Kathryn rocked backwards, taken aback. She held up both hands as if to ward off the unwanted assessment.

"Seven, that's part of being a couple," she chastised. "Both parties need to concede, sometimes do things that they would rather not do."

"But it was always me who was conceding, Admiral," Seven stated hotly. "From the moment I came on board Voyager you had a vision of who you wanted me to be. And you moulded me into that vision, with no thought as to who _I_ wanted to be."

That stung.

Kathryn blinked rapidly, then shot back, "You never complained. You continued to come to me for guidance."

"At first, yes. That was when you were my mentor. But later we were in a relationship. We were supposed to be _equals_," Seven stressed.

Her voice had risen in both intensity and volume. "But you never allowed me to be your equal. You always tried to dictate how I should feel, how I should act."

"You pushed me constantly, Seven!" Kathryn snapped at her. "Every little thing was a battle with you!"

"Because you had to be in control all the time! You decided where we were going to live, what foods we would eat, what time we would go to bed, and how we would spend our leisure time!"

"Because you were new to Earth!" Kathryn was angry, exasperated. "I was trying to help you settle in!"

"Is that also why you insisted on paying our way all the time?" Seven inquired sarcastically. "Is that why you dressed me in a winter coat before I went to work in the morning? Nagged me to carry an umbrella even when it wasn't raining?"

"I was trying to take care of you. That's what people who love each other do."

"No, you were controlling me. You _always_ strove to control me," Seven bit back angrily.

Kathryn's eyes flashed and she stood up abruptly. "I could never have controlled you! You were unpredictable! Hot headed! I never knew what was going to set you off. And even worse, I never knew why! You were so angry with me all the time, but I never knew what to do about it because you never talked to me!"

The retired admiral took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. This was getting out of hand.

"I don't even know why you're so angry with me now...?" She purposefully softened her voice, trailing off into a question.

She waited, but Seven chose not to answer. The younger woman glared up at her, breathing heavily, eyes shining with the start of tears. But she remained silent.

Kathryn let her features harden, falling into her familiar command mask. She nodded once, then turned on her heel and strode into her bedroom.

Seven heard the door shut firmly behind the admiral. She let out a shaky breath and slumped down into the chair. Then the tears came, hot, heavy and uncontrollable.

xxxxx

An hour later Seven was still slumped in the chair, watching the pattern of the fire repeat itself over and over, much like her thoughts.

There was no sign of Kathryn, her door remaining firmly shut. Two wine glasses sat empty and abandoned on the coffee table.

The admiral had been correct, Seven surmised. The problem lay in the expectations, in this case Seven's own. She had expected that Kathryn was feeling the same things she was. Upon discovering that apparently this wasn't the case, she had reacted badly.

The other woman was just being friendly and kind. Seven had returned that kindness with accusations and belligerence.

_I made a mistake,_ she acknowledged sadly.

She only hoped that she could fix her error, and that she hadn't already lost Kathryn's friendship for good.


	5. Chapter 5 Christmas Eve

**The Second Time Around: A Christmas Tale**

Chapter 5 – Christmas Eve

Seven didn't sleep well that night, tossing and turning until the early morning when she finally fell into a restless slumber.

She awoke on Christmas Eve morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee seeping under her door.

Taking that as a good sign – if Kathryn had left entirely she wouldn't be brewing coffee – Seven pulled a robe over her pyjamas and tentatively peeked into the living area.

The retired admiral was sitting the workstation terminal, showered and dressed, with a mug of steaming coffee by her right hand.

Seven took a deep breath and mustered her thoughts before approaching the other woman with purpose.

"Kathryn," she started tentatively.

There was no response. The former admiral's attention remained fixed on the screen, as if she hadn't heard Seven at all.

The ex-Borg refused to allow Kathryn to ignore her. What she had to say was much too important.

She knelt at the older woman's side, placing a hand on the desk beside Kathryn's mug of coffee.

"Kathryn," she tried again. "I need to apologize. I was feeling out of sorts last night, and my behaviour was completely out of line."

The other woman still didn't look at her, but Seven could tell she was listening.

"You received the brunt of my frustrations because I feel safe around you. Which isn't fair. I have enjoyed your company immensely the past few days, and I beg of you to accept my apology. I am not willing to lose our friendship."

Sensing that she still hadn't won the other woman over, Seven threw out her last weapon.

"Please?" she implored.

Stiffly, Kathryn turned her neck to look down at the woman kneeling beside her. Seven looked tired and worn out, dark circles around her red-rimmed eyes. But those baby blues were gazing up at her hopefully through pale eyelashes, and Kathryn felt the icy resolve in her chest melt away to nothing.

"Okay," she said simply.

"But Seven," she continued. "We clearly have some unresolved issues. Can we talk further about this sometime?"

She held up her finger. "Just talking, no yelling. That applies to both of us."

Seven nodded, sinking into a cross-legged position on the floor at Kathryn's side. The relief left her tired. She tilted head, bringing it to rest lightly against Kathryn's thigh.

Kathryn dropped a hand to the top of Seven's sleep-mussed hair, ruffling it affectionately. God, she loved this woman's hair short.

"You look exhausted," she observed. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"A little," Seven replied, then promptly yawned. "I will feel better with some breakfast and fresh air."

Seven rose and stretched, missing Kathryn's appreciative glance as she turned to peer out the window.

Outside, the morning sun was filtering softly through the trees to glitter on the fresh-fallen snow. It was a beautiful day.

"Would you be interested in cross country skiing this morning?" she asked the older woman impulsively, suddenly eager to get outside. "Maybe we could continue our... talk?"

"Ah," Kathryn woman shrugged apologetically. "I've already accepted an invitation to go snowshoeing with Jon this morning."

Seven carefully kept her face neutral.

The admiral hastily made another offer. "How about after lunch? I'm not sure I'll be up for skis, but we could spend some time together perhaps...?"

"Alright," the professor agreed. Having the morning to herself would hopefully give her space to put her thoughts in order. If she and Kathryn were to be friends, there could be no more of these deeper feelings that were causing pain and confusion.

xxxxx

A half hour later, Seven was dressed and finishing her breakfast when Jon came knocking on their cabin door. Feeling better already, she opened the door and invited him in. He gave her a warm smile and kicked the snow off his boots on the doorstep.

An even bigger smile split his face when caught sight of Kathryn coming out of her bedroom, pulling a warm turtleneck over her head.

"Good morning, sleep well?" he asked.

As he stepped into the cabin Seven shut the door behind him, suddenly feeling superfluous and out of place.

Kathryn nodded. "As well as can be expected, thank-you."

"Ready to go?" he inquired.

The ex-admiral snagged her coffee cup from the counter, swallowed the final mouthful, and nodded. "I am now!"

As Kathryn pulled on her outerwear, Jon turned to Seven. "I brought an extra pair of snowshoes in case you'd like to join us?" he offered.

She had to concede that he truly was a nice person. Perhaps even good enough for Kathryn. She was careful to keep her reply friendly and light.

"I have some things I'd like to attend to this morning," she replied. "But thank-you for the offer."

Considering a moment, she then asked, "But may I still borrow the snowshoes? I'd rather walk than take the transport bus."

"Of course!" He smiled at her again. "Just a moment, I'll go grab them for you."

Seven nodded her thanks as Jon went back outside for the extra pair of snowshoes.

Kathryn rested a hand lightly on Seven's arm. "I'll see you around lunch?" she asked softly.

Seven nodded again. "Have fun," she offered.

The older woman smiled, then followed Jon out into the glorious winter day.

xxxxx

Kathryn sat beside Jon in the hovercar in companionable silence. Their drive was a short one. They pulled into a small clearing and parked the vehicle.

Jon came around to Kathryn's side of the hovercar and showed her how to attach the snowshoes to her boots. Then he rummaged around in his vehicle and pulled out a spare pair of gloves.

"They'll be a bit big, but they'll keep your hands warm," he said. Finally he plunked a large pair of sunglasses on her face. If he thought she looked adorable, he carefully kept his thoughts to himself.

Setting a moderate pace, he led her into the trees. They walked for over an hour, down into a valley and then up again on the other side. Higher and higher they climbed, working their way up a gentle slope.

They alternated between chatting lightly and simply walking in silence, enjoying the crisp morning air, bright sunshine and fresh snow.

As they walked, Jon asked a number of questions about Kathryn's life, all of which she politely deflected. Not that he didn't know quite a bit about her already, both because she was quite well known and also because he had quizzed his sister the night before. But he wanted to hear things from Kathryn herself.

Shrugging, he figured she must be a private person. Which was okay. She had the deepest grey eyes he had ever seen. Those eyes had seen great joy and great sorrow, and he found himself drawn to them. An involuntary smile split his face each time they were turned in his direction.

Eventually they reached the top of a crest. Jon slid off his backpack and extracted two folding chairs which he set up in the snow.

"Luxury," Kathryn smiled at him. "Now if you only had a cup of coffee in there..."

Jon chuckled. Eager to please, he quickly pulled out a thermos and two small mugs. Kathryn slid the gloves off her hands and wrapped them gratefully around the warm mug of coffee that he poured for her.

"Oooh." She inhaled the steam before taking a taste. The coffee was rich and smooth, and perfectly warm.

They sat side-by-side, sipping their coffee in an easy silence. From their little ridge they could see most of Whistler Village and its hotels, and the top of the large Christmas tree in the square.

Looming above the village were the two ski hills. They were too far away to make out individual skiers, but Kathryn could see the covered tubes, or 'lifts', that carried people up the mountain, criss-crossing the slopes like large pipelines.

Kathryn tilted her face up to the gentle sunshine. She had missed this most acutely those seven years she had been lost in the Delta Quadrant. She had tried to explain the feeling of Earth's sun on her face to Seven on several occasions, but it was something primal that just couldn't be captured in words.

And speaking of Seven...

Kathryn felt a twinge of regret that the younger woman had chosen not to join them. She would have loved to share the walk with her... the sun on the snow, the birds flitting about in the trees. She knew Seven would have loved these things.

Not that she minded Jon's company, she mused. But she would rather have been with the professor.

She had caught a glimpse of Seven's quickly concealed disappointment when she had outlined her plans for the morning, and she had to admit that she felt the same way.

But what had been up with last night?

Seven certainly had a right to be angry about the demise of their relationship many years prior, but Kathryn had felt attacked, completely cornered. The most puzzling part was that it had seemed to come completely out of nowhere.

One minute the other woman had been confiding in her, the next she was attacking.

On top of that was Seven's strange antipathy toward Jon, who had been nothing but kind and friendly to both of them.

Something was going on, but Kathryn couldn't put her finger on the missing piece of the puzzle. She suddenly felt impatient to return to the cabin, to work out what had been happening between them the past few days.

As Kathryn sat lost in thought, Jon was taking the time to study her features. Her face was tilted into the sun and her eyes were closed. She was beautiful.

He watched as her brow furrowed, as if she were working through a problem, and then cleared. Suddenly her eyes opened and she turned toward him.

Caught staring, Jon blushed and looked away.

And the missing piece of the puzzle dropped into place in Kathryn's mind.

Jon had been watching her with adoring eyes, and in fact had been exhibiting strong signs of interest since she had first met him the previous afternoon. Carrying her bags, sitting beside her at dinner, taking her out for a romantic snow-shoe adventure...

Kathryn groaned internally. _And I haven't been much better! God, I actually blushed last night when Seven asked me about him._

Which explained the rest of the problem. Now that she'd noticed it in Jon, she had to admit to herself that she'd caught Seven watching her with the same adoring eyes.

_That's why she doesn't like him, _Kathryn sighed. _God Katie, how dense can you be?_

She'd felt the energy building between herself and her ex-wife, but had dismissed it as an old habit. She and Seven had gravitated towards one another right from the start.

The picture was suddenly as clear as the brilliant day surrounding them. _'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned',_ she quoted to herself. Even worse was an ex-Borg who felt like her affections were one-sided.

_But they're not one-sided,_ piped up a little voice in her head.

Kathryn stood abruptly. She cleared her throat and dumped the last bits of her coffee into the snow.

"I'm sorry Jon. This has been lovely, but I need to get back," she said.

"All right," Jon agreed amicably, careful to keep the disappointment out of his tone. He folded up the chairs and stashed them in his backpack, along with the empty thermos and coffee mugs.

They trekked back to the hovercar in silence. Kathryn was focussed on getting back to Seven, increasing her pace several times and barely glancing at the beautiful scenery around her.

Jon observed her distraction and haste and realized that somehow he had lost her. There was something or someone out there that was the sole focus of her attention, and it wasn't him.

As they came out of the woods near the hovercar, he made an attempt to bridge the gap.

"I'm meeting a few of the others in the village this afternoon for some ice skating," he offered. "Would you like to join us?"

"Hm?" Kathryn snapped back into the present at his words. "Oh, no. Thank-you though. It really was lovely spending time with you, and I'm sorry, but I have other plans this afternoon."

Disappointed, he merely nodded and helped her into the hovercar.

Outside the cabin, she threw open the door of the car and hopped out quickly, tossing him a distracted wave. She hurried inside.

But the cabin was empty.

xxxxx

After watching Kathryn drive off with Jon, Seven shut the door to the cabin firmly and looked around for something to distract her thoughts. Her eyes fell on the bags of gifts stacked against the far wall. _Aha_.

xxxxx

An hour later all the presents were wrapped and labelled. Seven rose from her position on the floor where she had been working and stretched her back. Nodding in satisfaction, she cleaned up the bits of paper, tape and ribbon, then glanced outside.

The sun was still shining brightly. _Time to try out the snowshoes._

Throwing on a light jacket and some gloves, Seven stepped out into the fresh air. She determined how to affix the snowshoes to her boots, and then tromped off down a small path through the woods, nodding appreciatively at how efficiently the snowshoes allowed her to move through the heavy snow.

Thirty-five minutes later she found herself standing outside Harry's house. She removed the snowshoes and knocked firmly.

Harry's older son answered the door. He waved her in, then dashed back upstairs to settle a rising dispute between his two young boys.

Seven found Harry sitting quietly in his chair, thumbing absently through a PADD. He dropped the PADD to his lap as she approached.

"Hello Harry Kim," she pulled a chair up beside Harry's. "How are you feeling today?"

"Alright," he allowed. "They boys were in here a few minutes ago promising me hot chocolate, but it doesn't seem to have appeared yet."

"They are engaging in a debate as to whether hot chocolate requires marshmallows or not," Seven informed him. Then she cut right to the chase.

"How are your legs? Have your doctors been giving you adequate care?"

"More than adequate. Dr. Schaefer has been amazing."

"Are you experiencing any pain?" Seven inquired.

"A captain never admits to pain." Harry gave her a quirky half-smile. "Tingling mostly, like my feet are asleep."

"That is a good sign. It means the nerves are regenerating."

"So they tell me," Harry replied, somewhat bitterly. "But..."

"But?"

"But..." Harry sighed, then turned his upper body towards her sharply.

"But I feel like a damn patchwork quilt," he snapped. "These legs aren't mine, this skin isn't mine... None of this is _me_."

There was frustration in his eyes as he continued, "Nothing in my body works like it's supposed to. I'm a bunch of pieces of metal and plastic and biomatter, stuck together with a hot glue gun. Am I supposed to live my life like this?" he asked pleadingly.

"I just want 'me' back." Harry slumped back into the chair, his fire fading.

Seven thought carefully before responding.

"I understand," she said slowly. "I too am 'metal and plastic and biomatter, stuck together with a hot glue gun'."

Harry flushed. "I'm sorry Seven."

"No need to apologize. For a long time I felt the same way that you do now. While I may look human, most of my body is not." She held out her left hand and gave it a jerky half-twist. Borg assimilation tubules extended in the air and hung there momentarily before snapping back into her arm.

The younger Harry would have recoiled from the disturbing sight, but this older Harry had seen far more unsettling things during his service as a Starfleet captain.

"How did you come to terms with that?" he asked her calmly.

"It took time," she replied. "And love. I found people who loved me for who I was, and they loved all parts of me. Metal, plastic and biomatter included."

Harry sighed.

"You have lots of love, Harry Kim," Seven continued. "Your wife loves you very much. I've watched her. She is not repulsed by you. Rather there is love in her eyes, each and every time she looks at you. Your sons love you, your grandsons love you. And your friends love you. We see you as we always have – just Harry."

By the time Seven finished there were tears in both their eyes.

Seven reached out and squeezed his forearm in an unconscious echo of Kathryn's familiar gesture.

"I'll see you later, Harry," she said softly.

Harry just nodded, wiping his eyes discreetly as he watched Seven leave the room.

xxxxx

Standing in the empty cabin, Kathryn swallowed her disappointment. After all, their agreement had been 'after lunch', and it was just barely lunch time now.

She poked her head out the door and observed that the spare set of snowshoes was gone. _I wonder where she went off to...?_

Kathryn's eyes fell on the pile of presents in the living area. Each one was precisely wrapped, small pieces of clear tape holding the clean folds together. The wrapping paper was decorated with images of reindeer and Santa Clauses who were smiling up at her cheerfully.

Kathryn couldn't help but smile back.

Retrieving a book from her room, Kathryn flipped on the fire place and settled on the little couch to read while she waited for Seven to return.

But the long walk and fresh air that morning had left her feeling drowsy, and she let the book fall to her lap as her eyes slid closed. Within minutes she was fast asleep.

xxxxx

Seven knocked the snow off her boots and leaned the snowshoes up against the outside of the cabin. She placed her palm against the lock and pushed the door open.

Inside, her eyes immediately fell on the small form curled up on the couch. Kathryn's eyes were closed, deep breathing indicating that she was asleep. A novel had fallen to the floor beside the couch.

Seven smiled. Her former captain had always looked so much smaller when she was asleep.

Moving quietly, Seven placed her boots by the door and hung her jacket on a peg. In the kitchen she pulled a bottle of juice out the fridge and drank deeply. Then she quietly set about laying out some lunch.

xxxxx

Kathryn awoke from her nap to the sound of dishes rattling in the kitchen. Stiffly hauling herself into a seated position, she peered over the back of the couch at the source of the noise.

Seven's electric blue eyes met hers and a beautiful smile spread across the younger woman's face.

_I can't believe I didn't see it before,_ Kathryn chastised herself incredulously.

"I'm sorry I woke you." The professor's voice was contrite. "Did you have a nice walk?"

"Mmhmm." Kathryn was still groggy. She tried to lever herself off the couch, only to find her muscles cramping in protest. She dropped back into the cushions with a groan.

"Are you all right?" Seven inquired. Concerned, she set down the plate she was holding and swiftly came around the counter.

"Sore," Kathryn mumbled. "It was a long walk."

"Did you stretch out afterward?"

The ex-admiral shot her a poisonous look. "I never used to have to stretch out after exercising."

Seven opened her mouth to continue, but the older woman held up a hand. "I know," she interrupted ruefully, "I'm not as young as I used to be."

"Actually, I was about to suggest a hot bath."

"Oh." Kathryn's voice softened and she leaned her head back on the couch cushion. "That sounds wonderful."

"I will prepare one immediately," Seven stated. "Lunch can wait."

"No Seven, wait – I didn't mean…"

But the younger woman was already in the bathroom, putting the plug in the soaker tub and turning on the water.

Ten minutes later, Kathryn was up to her neck in hot water and bubbles that smelled of lavender. It felt heavenly. She'd left the bathroom door open a crack and could hear Seven moving around the cabin.

"Where did you find the bubble bath?" she called out.

"In the counter under the sink," Seven's voice floated back at her through the door.

A few moments later there was a knock on the door. Kathryn checked to see that all her parts were covered by the bubbles before granting Seven entry.

"Come in," she husked, then cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Lunch," stated the professor. She placed two small plates with an assortment of cheeses, crackers and cut up fruit on the side of the tub. A moment later she was back with a glass of juice.

"No coffee?" Kathryn complained.

"Coffee would not be beneficial to easing your sore muscles," Seven informed her drily. "Juice is a healthier option. Or perhaps some tea…?

"Juice is fine, thanks."

The professor nodded. "Do you need anything else?"

Kathryn made the mistake of looking up into smouldering blue eyes, and her heart caught painfully in her chest. _How did I miss seeing that?_

"No," she said faintly. "I'm fine."

Seven nodded one more time, then turned on her heel and left the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.

In the tub, Kathryn groaned softly and slid her head under the water.

xxxxx

Nearly an hour later Kathryn emerged from the bathroom, skin rosy pink from the hot water. Her body felt much better, barely stiff at all. Barefoot, she carried her dishes into the kitchen and deposited them on the counter.

She found Seven asleep on the little couch, knees tucked up, a PADD dangling loosely from one hand.

_We're quite the pair,_ the retired admiral smiled to herself.

She took the PADD and set it carefully on the table. Then she grabbed a blanket off her bed and tucked it around Seven gently. After casting one last fond glance at the younger woman's sleeping form, she snagged her novel and settled into the armchair to enjoy an afternoon with a good book.

xxxxx

When Seven's eyes blinked open, the first thing she noticed was that it was getting dark outside. She was snuggled under a warm blanket that smelled faintly like Kathryn.

She lay quietly for a few minutes, slowly becoming aware of the sound of pages turning in a paper book.

She swung her feet off the couch as sat up, stretching out her legs which were slightly cramped after spending several hours curled up on the small couch.

The retired admiral looked up from her book and smiled.

"Hey there, sleepyhead. Feeling better?"

"Much. I did not get adequate rest last night…" Seven's voice was still gravelly with sleep. "I'm sorry I feel asleep on you."

"No problem. I think we both needed a rest," Kathryn replied.

Seven stretched her arms out and twisted her torso, trying to work out the kinks. Noting that the other woman's attention had gone back to her book, she took a few moments to observe her discreetly.

Kathryn was wearing a pair of baggy black pants and a soft, loose-fitting t-shirt. Her bare feet were resting on the edge of the small coffee table. The soft reading light lit her from behind, casting a halo of light around her head in the darkening cabin. The faint smell of lavender still clung to her skin.

Seven was suddenly overcome with a wave of domestic longing. This is what their marriage should have been like – lazy weekend afternoons spent comfortably in each other's company.

Instead, Kathryn had tended towards seven-day work weeks, an endless stream reports accompanying her home from the office on a daily basis. Starfleet didn't operate on a nine-to-five schedule and it was common for the admiral to take calls at all hours of the day and night.

Seven acknowledged that she hadn't been much better. Desperate to prove herself, she'd thrown everything she had into her research, pushing her way through the formality of her doctorate and publishing nearly two dozen papers in her first three years on Earth.

Maybe things could be different now, she mused. The admiral was retired, her life no longer ruled by the demands of Starfleet. And she herself had been forced to learn how to find balance in her life after the disastrous dissolution of her marriage.

She spent several minutes happily imagining what their life together could be like before her thoughts suddenly darkened as she recalled that Kathryn's interest currently lay elsewhere.

_I will enjoy this while it lasts,_ she resolved.

When Seven finally rose from the couch, Kathryn put a finger in her book and let the pages fall shut.

"Do you still want to do something this afternoon?" she inquired.

The professor accessed her internal chronometer. "It is almost sixteen-thirty hours," she said. "It appears that we have missed most of the afternoon. However, I would still be amenable to an activity. What did you have in mind?"

"Apparently everyone else was going skating," the former admiral replied. "We could see if they're still there? Maybe check out the village, find someplace for dinner?"

"I have enjoyed ice skating in the past, and I would be interested in seeing more of the village," Seven agreed.

"Let's go then!" Kathryn rose from her chair, pleased to note that she was only a little bit stiff, and went in search of a marker for her book.

Five minutes later the retired admiral was pulling on her boots when Seven approached her with a brightly wrapped present.

"You should open this," Seven informed her.

Charmed, Kathryn took the package in both hands. Her name was printed on the tag in Seven's neat hand.

"But it's not Christmas yet," she said softly, looking at the glittery paper.

"Nonetheless, I believe you require the contents before tomorrow."

"Alright."

Kathryn slid her finger under a fold and carefully removed the tape. The wrapping came apart in her hands and she was left holding a pair of red mittens and a soft red hat. She noted in delight that they matched her favourite scarf in colour perfectly.

"You always did look beautiful in red," the younger woman offered softly.

Kathryn's heart caught painfully in her chest.

"They're perfect," she husked.

Seven took the hat and gently pulled it onto the former admiral's head, tucking it low over her ears. Kathryn had a sudden flashback of her mother doing the same thing when she little.

"Here in Canada they refer to that as a 'toque'," Seven informed her. "It is required headwear when going out into a Canadian winter."

"Well then, you were correct when you said that I needed these tonight," Kathryn smiled. "Where did you find them?"

"In the same store where we purchased the scarves for B'Elanna and Tom."

"Sneaky." The older woman shook a finger at her.

She rested a hand on Seven's shoulder and stood on her tiptoes to place a light kiss on the professor's cheek. She lingered there a moment, breathing in the scent of Seven's skin and hair. When she pulled away, Seven had a wistful smile on her face.

xxxxx

It was dark by the time they climbed off the transport bus on the edge of the village. The sky was overcast, high clouds having moved in while they were enjoying their afternoon of rest. A steady breeze chilled Kathryn's cheeks and nose. She snuggled appreciatively into her warm winter outwear, glad to have the soft hat covering her head and ears.

Whistler Village was lit up for the holidays. Bright balls of multi-coloured Christmas lights hung from the lamp posts and more snaked around the trees. The lights reflected off the fresh snow, causing the whole village to glow warmly. The walkway had been scraped clean, revealing red brick beneath their feet. Kathryn was completely charmed.

They crossed a little footbridge, following signs that pointed to the ice skating.

The ice rink was relatively small in size, lit up only by strings of Christmas lights and packed with people. Wide benches surrounded the rink on three sides, and on the fourth side stood a hot chocolate stand and an open-air shop that advertised skate rentals.

Just past the rink was a hill that was being used for tobogganing.

The two women spotted some familiar figures whipping down the slope on a pair of orange toboggans. B'Elanna whooped as she reached the bottom and went flying into a pile of snow, Tanya crashing almost directly on top of her.

The tobogganers leapt up quickly, making way for a pile of kids who came screaming down the hill after them.

Smiling, Kathryn and Seven picked their way around the outside of the rink to the bottom of the toboggan run.

"Admiral! Seven!" Tom limped over to greet the newcomers.

"Tom, what happened?" Kathryn inquired, looking him up and down in concern.

"Eh, I tried skiing today. I had a minor incident involving a tree." Tom waved it off.

"It was more than a 'minor incident'," the Doctor interrupted, coming up behind them. He put a hand on Tom's shoulder and steered him back toward a bench.

"You broke your leg in three places. Lucky for you I always carry some equipment with me, and I was able to mend the break right away. But I told you to stay off it for the next forty-eight hours. So – sit." He pushed Tom toward the bench.

"Aw, Doc…" Tom whined. "It wouldn't hurt to take just one run on the sled, would it?"

"Mr. Paris, if you don't sit down this instant I will break your other leg. And this time I _won't_ mend it." The Doctor threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Honestly, no one appreciates my work around here," he muttered darkly.

Tom gave the women a sheepish shrug before dropping into a seat on the wooden bench.

With a lingering glance at Kathryn, Seven moved off to join B'Elanna, Tanya and Chakotay. The retired admiral took the opportunity to pull the Doctor aside.

"Doctor," she asked quietly. "A moment of your time?"

"Of course Admiral," he nodded.

She led him a little ways away, close enough that she could still keep an appreciative eye on Seven, but far enough that their conversation would not be overheard.

"I want your opinion on Harry," she told him. "How's he doing?"

"He's doing as well as can be expected," the Doctor informed her. "I looked him over yesterday after we arrived and, as much as it pains me to admit it, there's nothing additional I can offer him."

"Will he walk again?"

"Undoubtedly, if that's what he chooses. Captain Kim's biggest challenge at the moment isn't his physical heath, which is improving rapidly, but rather his mental state."

"Oh." Kathryn was somewhat alarmed, but found that she wasn't particularly surprised. "Is he seeing a counsellor?"

"His wife tells me that he's seeing someone, yes. And he seems thankful to have everyone here…" The Doctor trailed off.

"But he's distant," she observed.

"Exactly," he confirmed. "He's not really participating. Nonetheless, I believe our presence is helpful."

"I do too."

Kathryn patted him on the arm. "Thanks Doc. I'm glad you took a look at him."

"Of course!" The Doctor looked mildly offended that she would think otherwise.

Amused, she led him back over to where Tanya, B'Elanna and Seven were working on something at the bottom of the little hill. They had temporarily abandoned their toboggans and were busy gathering copious amounts of snow.

In fact they were rolling snowballs, Kathryn realized. Large snowballs.

"What're you doing?" she asked them.

B'Elanna's sharp teeth flashed at her in a mischievous grin.

"We're making a Snow Klingon," she informed her former captain.

"A what?"

"A Snow Klingon," Seven repeated pointedly, enunciating each word carefully.

Chakotay shrugged at Kathryn in amusement and handed her a cup of hot chocolate.

They watched as the three women piled the snowballs one on top of the other, largest on the bottom and smallest on the top. B'Elanna scooped up more handfuls of snow and built some ridges on the forehead of the top ball, while Seven and Tanya gathered some stones and pine twigs to make eyes and bushy eyebrows.

"Huh. A Snow Klingon," Kathryn mused.

xxxxx

An hour and a half later, the Snow Klingon was flanked by a Snow Bolian and a Snow Ferengi, the latter sporting large ears and notably pointed teeth made out of small, jagged stones.

Most of the former crewmates were now lounging beside Tom on his bench, watching B'Elanna trudge back to them after one last ride down the hill on her toboggan.

"I think we're going to head out," Tanya informed them, standing and grabbing the Doctor's hand tightly.

"I'm ready to go too," said B'Elanna somewhat breathlessly as she dropped the toboggan into the snow by the bench. "I could use a dry change of clothes."

"Is anyone interested in dinner a little later?" Kathryn asked them.

They all shook their heads.

"We had a very late lunch," B'Elanna replied, throwing a glance at Tom. "After someone broke his leg trying to show off, our day got a little thrown off schedule."

"Hey!" Tom's protest went unheard.

"Plus we still have a few things to take care of tonight." B'Elanna reached down to help Tom to his feet. "Come on, fly boy. Let's get you back to the cabin."

Tom shrugged, then turned to Kathryn. "Remember Admiral, Santa Claus doesn't come until you're in bed. Don't stay out too late!"

"I don't intend to!" she informed him drily.

"Chakotay, will you join us for dinner?" Kathryn turned to her former first officer.

"Not tonight," he said apologetically. "Jon is just out picking up a fort he purchased for the two little boys, and he asked me for a hand assembling it. I'm supposed to meet him shortly."

"I wonder if Beth requires assistance with anything tonight?" Seven pondered out loud. "She is expecting a large number of people tomorrow morning."

"Actually, I think the best help is probably to stay out of her way. That's why we all got sent out skating," Chakotay informed them with a grin.

"I wouldn't worry about it," he finished. "Have a nice night, and we'll see you in the morning!"

After some quick hugs goodnight the group split up, leaving Kathryn and Seven alone once more.

"We seem to be out of synch with everyone else's schedules today," the retired admiral observed.

"Indeed. Are you upset about that?" Seven inquired.

"No, not really. We'll be spending quite a bit of time with them tomorrow."

Kathryn sucked in a deep breath. _Should I say it?_

"Besides, I'm really enjoying spending time with just you," she admitted.

"Thank-you Admiral, the feeling is mutual," Seven informed her.

Slightly flustered, Kathryn turned around to look at the rink behind them. It was packed full with Christmas Eve skaters of all ages. Christmas music was blasting from some strategically placed speakers.

"Do you want to try skating?" she asked.

"At the moment, I think food would be more beneficial," the professor replied, placing a hand on her abdomen. "It's been a long time since lunch."

"That it has," the older woman agreed. She hesitated briefly before linking her arm through Seven's. "Let's go find some dinner then."

They strolled in easy silence, hips bumping gently with each step. Kathryn's body warmed from the contact and she moved a little closer.

_We really do need to talk about this,_ she mused.

xxxxx

The restaurants were packed with people out celebrating Christmas Eve. The pair grabbed a quick dinner which they ate standing outside in the brightly lit main square, before catching the transport bus back to their cabin.

On the way up the windy lane from the bus stop they came across an icy patch on the road. Seven grabbed Kathryn's hand to steady her. Safely passed the ice she chose not to let go, holding on loosely for the rest of the short walk up to their cabin.

Outside the cabin, Kathryn removed her mitten to activate the door lock. It had just started to snow, tiny white flakes sprinkling the air.

As she reached for the palm plate, something caused her glace up. She was surprised to see Seven's beautiful face drawn into a look of hopeless longing and… frustration?

The former admiral redirected her hand, reaching up to brush tiny snowflakes from Seven's optical implant above her left eye. Her fingers traced lightly down the younger woman's cheek and came to linger on her jawbone. Seven's skin was chilled from the winter air.

The look of frustration intensified, furrowing Seven's brow.

"Seven, what is it?" Kathryn asked softly.

"I am… confused." the younger woman stated.

"I can see that. Why?" Kathryn's voice was tender, intimate.

Seven hesitated.

"Seven," the former admiral said, a little firmer. "You need to start talking to me. I can't help if I don't know what's bothering you. Please don't shut me out."

"It has never been my intention to… shut you out," Seven began slowly. "I've just never known how to express…"

"Express what?"

She fumbled for the words. "I… Kathryn, I care for you. I always have. I feel… it's been… these past few days…"

Seven shut her eyes in frustration. She could feel her hands shaking – one of her least favourite human reactions.

Slowly she became aware of the gentle presence of Kathryn's hand still resting on her jaw. That gave her enough to courage to continue.

"I love you." The unbidden words flowed out of her more easily that she ever would have thought possible.

Startled at her own confession, she opened her eyes in alarm. Kathryn was looking at her, a blank expression on her face.

Panicking, Seven took a quick step backward, causing the other woman's hand to drop away.

"I know this is not returned," she stated quickly. "I know you and Jon are… at the start of something… and I don't want to interfere. I am happy just to spend time with you. Our renewed friendship is very important to me."

The last few sentences had been hard to say. But the past few days had reminded Seven of how much she valued the other woman's friendship, and she resolved that she would do anything to keep it, even if it meant supporting Kathryn in a relationship with another person.

Kathryn took a shaky breath and stepped forward, consciously re-entering the younger woman's space. She brought up both hands, one gloved and one bare, to cup Seven's face gently.

"Jon and I aren't starting anything," she corrected quietly. "I think he would like to… but I… Well, I've found my attention elsewhere," she finished somewhat ruefully.

"Where?" Seven asked, her heart beating painfully in her chest.

"Right here," Kathryn husked.

She leaned up and captured Seven's lips in the gentlest kiss imaginable.

Pulling back slightly, she looked up into Seven's eyes which were wide with astonished delight. God, she wanted to lose herself in this woman.

Somewhat belatedly, she realized that Seven was shaking from head to toe.

With a last caress to the younger woman's cheek, Kathryn dropped her hands and turned to palm the door open. Stepping into the cabin, she reached back to Seven.

"Come on," she said. "I think we need to finish that talk."

xxxxx

Inside, Seven took a few minutes to calm herself before once again joining Kathryn in front of the little fireplace. This time they sat side by side on the couch. The former admiral had a leg pulled up under her and was reclining comfortably against the cushions.

Seven shifted repeatedly, trying to get comfortable. Was she sitting too close to Kathryn? Too far away? Each time her mind strayed back to what had just happened outside she felt herself begin to shake again.

_Do I really want to go through this again with this woman?_

She glanced at the Kathryn, who had been watching her with a gentle, bemused expression on her face. When the younger woman caught her eye however she dropped her gaze, a shy smile playing around her lips.

_She's nervous too,_ realized Seven. Oddly enough, that thought helped calm her rapidly beating heart. The shaking slowly ceased.

She studied the older woman in the firelight.

Her eyes traced the lines on Kathryn's face, much deeper than they'd been many years before, but telling so many more stories. She admired the strong jut of the admiral's chin and the soft grey of her eyes which were currently focused somewhere around her kneecaps. Fingers picked at the material of her pants absently.

Slightly nervous indeed.

_Yes, I do want to want to do this again with this woman_, Seven decided firmly. _Probably more than anything I've wanted before in my life._

That thought gave her the courage to break the silence.

"Kathryn, you said you wished to continue our conversation from last night?" she prompted tentatively.

_Was it really only last night?_ It had indeed only been a day, and yet for Kathryn so much had changed since then.

"I did." She husked softly. "Last night you were very angry with me. You informed me that you felt I had always... tried to control you."

"I did feel that way," Seven acknowledged.

"Does it feel that way now?" Kathryn asked. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"No," the professor stated bluntly. "It does not."

Realizing she needed to elaborate, she continued, "These past few days you've given me space to be who I am. Your company has been most enjoyable. You are… much more relaxed now that you are no longer with Starfleet," she observed.

"Fair enough," the retired admiral acknowledged somewhat ruefully. She paused a moment, then asked, "Is there anything else that's gone unsaid all these years?"

Seven pondered the question.

"When we fought, you were always the first to walk away," she said finally. "Our disagreements were always two-sided, but I was the one who apologized first."

Kathryn remained silent, making a point of listening.

"When things got… very bad… it was finally me who walked away," Seven continued. "I was trying to get your attention. I was hoping you would come after me…" she admitted softly.

"But I didn't," Kathryn finished with regret. _Damn my pride…_

But the younger woman wasn't done yet. "It happened this morning too," Seven observed.

"I'm sorry?"

"Last night was my fault," she acknowledged hastily. "I started our disagreement, and I escalated it. And I apologized this morning. However, you wouldn't look me in the eye until after had begged your forgiveness. I find that… frustrating. And unfair. Like you are trying to punish me."

Kathryn felt her ire rising until suddenly, in a crashing realization, it was crystal clear to her that the younger woman was absolutely correct.

First as a Starfleet captain, and then as an admiral, she was used to being the one in control. Arguments or misunderstandings were the fault of the junior officer, never the other way around.

Professionally, she was used to being in the position of always being right. She had extended that to her personal life as well.

"You're right." It came out a little strangled, so she tried it again. "You're right."

Kathryn sighed, closing her eyes momentarily.

"Seven, you've always been the one who keeps me honest," she admitted. Opening her eyes, she continued. "So how can we do this differently?"

"Perhaps if you could meet me half way?" Seven suggested hopefully. "Don't ignore me or push me away after we have disagreed."

"Alright," Kathryn agreed faintly. She wondered if the other woman was asking for the impossible. But she was willing to try.

However…

"And," Kathryn stated, "I need you to meet me halfway too. You need to tell me what's bothering you. I can't resolve an issue when I don't know what's wrong."

"I will endeavour to do so from now on." Seven's voice was serious.

"I'll try my best as well." The ex-admiral offered her a small smile.

The corner of Seven's mouth twitched up and she offered her right hand for Kathryn to shake. "Then you have a deal."

Kathryn grasped her hand and shook it twice firmly, then softened her grip and dropped their hands together onto her thigh.

They smiled at each other shyly and lapsed into silence.

Kathryn allowed her head to fall back onto the couch, simply enjoying their closeness.

Meanwhile, the professor's mind was working furiously. They had agreed upon some terms for moving forward, but with what? With their friendship? Or with something more?

Kathryn had suggested that her attention was not on Jon, but rather with Seven herself. And then she had kissed her.

Seven's heart beat sped up and the corners of her mouth rose involuntarily at the memory.

But what exactly did that mean? Were they embarking on another romantic relationship?

The ex-Borg opened her mouth with the intention of requesting clarification, only to find that her companion had drifted off into a light doze.

Snapping her mouth shut, Seven reminded herself that patience was considered a virtue. She gently stroked the back of Kathryn's hand.

"Come on Kathryn, time for bed," she coaxed.

The retired admiral hummed and stirred, but didn't open her eyes.

"Kathryn, unless you wish to be carried off to bed, I suggest that this is a good time to move there of your volition," Seven stated.

That got the older woman's attention. Blinking, Kathryn yawned widely and regarded Seven with sleepy eyes.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I seem to be tired these days."

"It's not a problem," Seven reassured her. "Besides... As Tom said, Santa will not come until you are already asleep."

"Well I'd better get off to bed then," she smiled fondly.

Giving Seven's hand a last squeeze before releasing it, she rose and tottered towards the bathroom. On her way past, she ran her fingers gently through Seven's hair, causing the other woman to smile contentedly.

As the retired admiral disappeared into the bathroom, Seven noted that she'd been doing an inordinate amount of smiling in the past few days. With a brisk nod to herself, she resolved to finish their conversation in the morning.

xxxxx

An hour later Seven was laying her bed, listening to the sound of snoring emanating from Kathryn's bedroom. They had both left their doors open a crack, but now the sound was keeping the younger woman awake.

_She is lying on her back_, Seven decided.

Kathryn had always snored when she lay flat on her back. Providing that her physiology remained unchanged, all Kathryn needed to do was tilt her head fifteen degrees to the left and the snoring would cease.

Seven contemplated getting up and shutting her door, but for some unknown reason she stayed where she was. Moments later she heard Kathryn shift, and then the snoring increased in volume.

_She has tilted her head to the right._ Seven sighed.

She rose from her bed with the intention of closing her door, but inexplicably she found herself standing in Kathryn's doorway instead. In the dim light she could make out that the older woman was indeed lying on her back with her head tipped slightly to the right.

_She always complains of a sore throat after she's been snoring,_ Seven recalled. _And she never sleeps very well._

Without stopping to consider the wisdom of her actions, she padded softly into the bedroom and slipped into bed, manoeuvring herself gently under the covers. She slid her right arm under Kathryn's neck and pulled the other woman close.

Without waking up, Kathryn snuggled in and her head lolled to the side to rest on Seven's shoulder. The snoring ceased.

_Fifteen degrees to the left,_ Seven noted smugly.

The warmth from the other woman's body and the soft breath on her neck lulled Seven's eyes closed, and soon she too was fast asleep.


	6. Chapter 6 Look What Santa Brought

**The Second Time Around: A Christmas Tale**

Chapter 6 – Look What Santa Brought

Kathryn woke slowly, feeling refreshed and content. Her cheek was resting on something soft and she sighed happily.

Slowly it dawned on her that she was not alone in bed. And not only did she have company, but her company was holding her tenderly. The softness she was nuzzling under her cheek was Seven's shoulder, clad in flannel pyjamas.

_Well well, looks like Tom was right!_ she mused happily. _Santa _did_ come while I was sleeping._

And he had brought her almost six feet of sexy ex-Borg.

_Lucky me!_

Kathryn brought her hand to the younger woman's stomach and gently rubbed the material she found there, luxuriating in the feeling of the soft flannel under her fingertips. Slowly her fingers spread, tracing gentle circles on Seven's belly. Through the pyjamas she could feel the ridges of metal implants and the softness of flesh.

She traced the edge of an abdominal implant, up and then back down again. Her circles widened, and she skimmed her fingertips over Seven's hipbone.

A sharp intake of breath informed her that her bed mate was awake.

She propped herself up on an elbow and looked down into Seven's sleepy eyes.

"Good morning," she murmured. "Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here? Couldn't sleep?"

"Something like that." Seven's voice was amused.

She dropped her head back onto the younger woman's shoulder.

Slowly, her fingers resumed their exploration. They circled a hipbone, then wandered down the front of a thigh, pausing on a kneecap. They reversed course, skimming the inside of a thigh.

"Stop." Seven's voice was gravelly with sleep, gently pleading.

Kathryn paused, judging the sincerity of the request. Then she trailed her hand up, tracing another implant, back onto warm flesh, and around the side of a soft breast. _God, her breasts._

She reached the neck of Seven's pyjamas and paused there, fingering the edge of the material. Then she brushed her fingers along the soft skin of Seven's neck.

She smiled, pleased to feel the ex-Borg's pulse fluttering rapidly under her fingertips.

Gently, she caressed the delicate skin on Seven's throat before skimming down and dipping lightly under the flannel to trace a collarbone.

Her fingers paused in the dip between two collarbones, then retraced their path. Sliding out from under the fabric, she caressed her way downwards again, relishing the curve of Seven's breast beneath her fingertips. She skimmed across a nipple, eliciting another gasp, before moving her hand lower to circle a hipbone again.

"Kathryn," Seven gasped. "You must stop. It is nearly oh-seven-forty-five."

"Hm," Kathryn mumbled, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

Her fingers continued on their path. Down the outside of a thigh, circling the knee once, then slowly, ever so slowly, skimming up the inside of that thigh, brushing closer and closer towards...

Suddenly Kathryn found herself on her back, nearly six feet of ex-Borg on top of her breathing heavily. Smouldering blue eyes flashed at her in hunger.

Kathryn's legs fell open automatically and the younger woman settled herself firmly between them.

With a soft growl, Seven captured the admiral's lips, bringing their bodies together. Kathryn surged up into her, wrapping her legs tightly around the younger woman's hips.

It had been so long since Kathryn had been with someone like this. The sensation of the warm body between her legs was exquisite and she moaned deep in her throat. She dug her heels into the back of Seven's thighs and pulled the other woman closer, grinding up into her.

They rocked together, kissing deeply.

She was wet, so wet. She needed more.

Kathryn reached up and fisted a hand in the back of Seven's short hair, tugging firmly.

The younger woman broke the kiss and tipped her head back with a moan, granting access to her sinuous neck.

Kathryn nuzzled roughly into the younger woman's throat, inhaling the familiar scent of her, then nipped her way down to a collar bone.

One hand stayed tangled in Seven's hair, the other slid under up under back of a flannel pyjama top. Crushing the professor's body to hers, Kathryn dug her nails into Seven's bare back before sliding down to cup a firm buttock.

She captured the other woman's lips again and tangled their tongues together.

She was reaching for the edge of Seven's pyjama top, intending to tug it up and off, when a feminine, computerized voice startled them both.

"The time is oh-eight-hundred hours," it announced politely.

Their bodies froze. Slowly, Seven rose off of the retired admiral and blinked down at her with unfocused eyes.

"I set the alarm last night." Kathryn's voice was deep and gravelly. She ran her hand down Seven's back, smoothing the bunched pyjamas back down over skin and implants.

She released the grip she had on Seven's hair and trailed her fingers along the younger woman's cheek, cupping her jaw to gently draw her in for another kiss. Seven rocked her hips between Kathryn's legs, eliciting dual gasps of pleasure. The kiss deepened.

Several minutes later, the polite feminine voice announced, "The time is eight-oh-five."

Kathryn broke the kiss and dropped her head back onto the pillow with a frustrated groan.

"Damn," she cursed. "We're supposed to be at Harry's at oh-nine-hundred."

They were both panting heavily, and the lust shining in Seven's eyes almost undid her. She was on the verge of saying 'to hell with it' and finishing what they'd started when Seven took a deep steadying breath and pushed up onto her knees.

"I warned you to cease your activities," the professor scolded gently. But there was still a molten heat in her eyes, and a wicked smile curled the corner of her mouth.

Seven climbed off the bed and shook her body out gently. "I'm going to have a quick shower," she announced somewhat shakily.

"Need any help?" Kathryn was slightly mortified by the pleading in her voice.

"I think that would be unwise at this point in time." The wicked grin was back. "But perhaps later...?"

Seven exited the room with a slight bounce in her step, only to turn around and poke her head back around the doorframe.

"Oh and Kathryn? Merry Christmas."

Kathryn just groaned.

xxxxx

Outside Harry and Elizabeth's house, the retired admiral brushed wistful fingers over Seven's optical implant. She wasn't feeling much like being around company, or at least any company other than that of the gorgeous woman standing in front of her. What she wanted was to be back in bed, exploring every inch of that beautiful body.

The younger woman looked at her knowingly, grabbing the admiral's hand and planting a light kiss on her fingertips before turning to open the door and let themselves in.

At the top of the stairs they were met by Christmas mayhem. Chairs and cushions packed the room, which was overflowing with people. Stacks of merrily wrapped presents occupied every empty space, and the two young boys were tearing circles around the room with a pair of miniature starships.

Kathryn took a deep breath and put on her game face.

A light breakfast had been laid out, and plates with fruit and cinnamon buns were scattered on any available flat surface. A chorus of greetings rose as they entered the room and added their armload of presents to a pile spilling out from under the tree.

There was one person conspicuously absent.

"Where's Harry?" Kathryn asked Elizabeth.

"He said he's not feeling up for this," she shrugged in disappointment. "He chose to stay in his room this morning."

"And where is his room?" Kathryn asked.

"Down the hall on the right..." Elizabeth trailed off as the retired admiral brushed past her, heading for the hallway.

"He said he didn't want to be disturbed!" she called out to the admiral's retreating back.

"He doesn't have a choice," Kathryn tossed back over her shoulder.

All the doors on the right side of the hallway were standing open apart from one. Kathryn took a brief moment to school her features, settling into her familiar mantle of command. She knocked firmly three times, then without waiting for an answer she opened the door and let herself into the room.

Harry was lying on top of a made bed, back propped up on pillows against the headboard and a light blanket over his outstretched legs. His face was turned away from the door.

"Captain Kim," she snapped.

He turned his head slowly. "I don't feel like talking right now, Admiral," he replied bitterly.

"You don't have a choice." Kathryn shut the door behind her and approached the bed.

"What's happening here, Captain?" she asked him.

"I'm not a captain anymore," he replied, anger tinting his voice.

"Did I miss your demotion?" she asked mildly.

"No. But how can you be a captain without a ship?" he demanded.

"Is that what this is about?"

"How could it be about anything else? A captain is supposed to go down with his ship," Harry cried out. "My ship is floating space debris on the edge of Cardassian space, and most of my crew are with it! I shouldn't be here."

"You'd rather that you died?" Kathryn asked.

"YES!" he exploded. "All of those people were under my command. I was responsible for their safety. And now they're dead. Their families are celebrating the holidays without them. I should be with my ship and crew."

"I read the report, Harry." The admiral allowed her voice to soften. "You were responding to a distress signal when you were ambushed by a fleet of Cardassian warships. You fought, but you were outnumbered.

"You managed to get most of your crew into escape pods. The Cardassians began picking off the pods one by one, but you created a diversion with a shuttlecraft. You rammed the lead warship, destroying both the enemy vessel and your own shuttle. Your second officer risked her life to transport you out of the burning wreckage moments before the warship exploded, destroying your craft along with it.

"Despite being critically injured, you took a shot of adrenaline and continued to direct the retreat, managing to save twenty-eight of your crew members before finally passing out from blood loss."

She looked at him kindly. "No captain should ever have to lose his ship, nor people under his command. But it happens Harry. How many did we lose in the Delta Quadrant? Twenty-three? I felt each and every loss. But I had to keep going. It's the only way."

"It's not the only way. Over one hundred people died that day because I decided to respond to a distress signal on the Cardassian boarder. I should still be out there with them."

"Enough with the self-pity, Captain!" Kathryn snapped at him. "You were doing what you thought was right. We can only do our best each and every day. I'm very sorry for those people, and for their families. But what of the twenty-eight who lived? And what of your own family?"

"What of them?"

"You may as well have died. Then they could start getting on with their lives. Instead you're in here, wasting away, while your grandsons are celebrating Christmas without you and your wife is pacing the hallway, desperately torn between her family out there and you in here."

"She should let me be and join everyone else," Harry said bitterly.

"She should," Kathryn agreed, keeping her voice hard. "But she can't. You know why?"

"Why," he sighed.

"Because she loves you. Because she thanks God each and every day that you made it back to her."

The retired admiral lowered her voice. "My daddy didn't make it back one day, and I would give anything – _anything, _Captain – to have one more day with him. Don't waste this time."

Captain Kim's body began to tremble.

"I understand Harry." Kathryn grabbed his hand and held on tight. "I made a decision that stranded my crew in the Delta Quadrant for seven years, including a very young ensign who was desperate to return to his family. So believe me when I say that I understand.

"But out there, your friends and family? They don't understand. They just want their grandfather back. Their dad, their husband, their friend. Don't punish them just because you're trying to punish yourself."

Harry's tears broke. Kathryn pulled him into a hug, dropping her rank and returned to the role of an old friend. He buried his face in her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

She held him for long minutes as the tears dried up and he slowly regained control over his breathing. Finally he pulled away and cleared his throat.

Kathryn moved back, giving him a respectful distance.

"I've been an ass, haven't I?" he asked sardonically.

She chose not to answer. "Are you ready to join the party?" she asked instead.

Harry looked trepidatious, but he nodded.

"Be right back," she smiled at him. "Oh, and Mr. Kim?"

He looked up at her.

"Good to have you back."

Kathryn slipped back to the living room, tossing a reassuring wave to Elizabeth who was watching her with concern. She gestured discreetly for Seven and Chakotay to join her in the hall.

"I need a hand," she informed them in a low voice as they moved quickly and quietly to her side. "Harry has decided to join the party, but I think he could use some assistance getting here."

A few minutes later Harry appeared, flanked on either side by Chakotay and Seven who were bearing most of his weight.

Two little boys cried out "Grandpa!" and ran to throw their arms around his legs. He reached down to brush their heads awkwardly, a smile rising to his face unbidden.

A space was hastily cleared and Harry was settled on the couch, his legs propped up on a footstool.

As his friends and family swarmed around him, Elizabeth flashed Kathryn a teary smile and mouthed the words 'thank you', before wrapping her arms around her husband.

Kathryn was standing on the threshold of the living room, pleased to be watching the joyful scene unfold, when she felt a presence at her side. She turned to find Jon standing close beside her. He had a gentle smile on his face.

"Well done," he complimented her. "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing really," she replied quietly.

"Well, good job anyways," he repeated.

"I saved a spot for you," he continued. "Come join me?"

"Actually..." Kathryn trailed off, her eyes meeting Seven's hopeful gaze across the room. "I already have a spot. Thanks though."

As she made a beeline for the ex-Borg professor, Jon nodded a little sadly to himself. She'd made her choice then.

Kathryn picked her way around piles of unopened presents, plates of food and mugs of coffee, winding up in front of Seven who had scored a place on the end of large sofa next to Chakotay. The younger woman rose to offer her the seat, and Kathryn squeezed in next to her former first officer.

Seven dropped cross-legged onto the floor by Kathryn's feet and draped an arm possessively across the older woman's knees. The retired admiral's hand automatically found its way into the hair at the nape of the professor's neck.

Seven passed up a mug of coffee which she must have obtained while Kathryn was down the hall with Harry. She smiled at the younger woman fondly.

Abruptly her eyes snapped up to meet Chakotay's which were watching her with gentle amusement. He gave her an approving grin before returning his attention to his breakfast.

Kathryn glanced around the room, spotting her former crew members who all smiled and nodded in her direction. B'Elanna gave her a discreet thumbs-up. The admiral rolled her eyes.

Once Harry was settled with a plate of food and cup of tea, Elizabeth enlisted the help of her sons to sort through the mounds of gifts and begin distributing them around the room.

B'Elanna received one of the first presents. Tearing into the paper, she uncovered a gaudy red, orange and green scarf.

"Oooh, I love it!" she exclaimed. "Thanks Seven, thanks Admiral!" Pleased, she wrapped the wool scarf around her neck.

Kathryn rolled her eyes again as Seven turned to look up at her with a smirk.

xxxxx

An hour later, Seven and Kathryn were surrounded by a generous pile of items, including several holonovels, a beautiful throw blanket sporting a Salish Native American design, and a two pairs of matching earmuffs.

The admiral had been perplexed by the number of gifts addressed jointly to Seven and herself. Had everyone known what was going on before she did?

In addition to the small items she and Seven had picked out for their friends, Kathryn had made donations on behalf of each of her former senior staff members to the Ocean Rehabilitation Foundation.

After the gift giving was complete, the admiral helped tidy the living room before wandering outside to where Harry, bundled up and seated on a sturdy chair, was watching his two grandsons play in the snow.

Noting his joyful expression, Kathryn chose to leave him be.

Many of his other guests were outside as well, mingling in the fresh air and sipping cups of hot tea or cocoa. Putting on her diplomat's face, the retired admiral made the rounds, greeting each of the other guests in turn and engaging them in some light conversation.

Seven had chosen to remain inside, offering her assistance to Elizabeth and her two sons who were busy preparing a Christmas feast. The main meal was to be served at lunch, presumably to allow the Kims to get their house back at a reasonable hour.

Working contentedly, Seven peeled and chopped mounds of potatoes, prepared a salad, and laid out the deserts.

Christmas lunch was served buffet style. It was a traditional holiday meal with turkey, potatoes, squashes, vegetarian lasagne, cooked vegetables, salad, glazed carrots, freshly baked rolls with butter... Elizabeth had outdone herself.

After eating way too much food, and indulging in a few too many chocolate desserts, Kathryn nodded discreetly to Seven who immediately came to her side.

They found Harry on the floor playing with building toys with his grandsons. After taking turns kissing his cheek they gathered their presents, thanked their hosts, and slipped quietly out the door.

Back in their little cabin, Kathryn was sorting through their gifts while Seven stood at a window, gazing out at the snow and trees.

After a few minutes the retired admiral joined Seven at the window. There was a bird flitting about, pecking at seeds that someone from a neighbouring cabin had tossed into the snow.

"_Perisoreus canadensis_," the younger woman named the bird softly. "Whisky Jack."

Her voice was distant and she continued to gaze idly out the window.

"Why so melancholy, love?" The endearment slipped easily from Kathryn's mouth.

Seven sighed. She allowed her eyes to linger on the bird for another moment, then turned and moved to a spot on the couch. The retired admiral settled onto the other end and lifted her feet, tucking them between the cushion and Seven's thigh.

The younger woman was still looking off into space, so Kathryn allowed her the time to gather her thoughts.

Finally, Seven turned to meet the former admiral's deep grey eyes. "I'm worried this won't last," she admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"We are in a ski cabin in the woods. It's Christmastime. We're both on vacation," she observed. "What happens in a few days when this ends? Do we end too?"

"I hope not," Kathryn husked softly. "I can only speak for my own feelings, but they're not going to change. I want to be with you."

"But we live in different cities." Seven's voice was plaintive.

"I'll move," the ex-admiral stated promptly.

"I have Mr. Moo and Ana."

"I'm alright with kids, and I'll learn to like your cat. Maybe we could get a dog too..."

"I still work very hard. My research is important to me." Seven's voice was insistent.

"Are you saying that you don't want to move forward with this?" Kathryn inquired, somewhat taken aback. That thought hadn't occurred to her before and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.

"I do want this. I want to be with you." The professor's voice was firm, certain.

The older woman let out a sigh of relief. "So what's the problem then?"

Seven paused. Admitting her insecurities had never come easy to her, but she recalled the promise she had made the day before.

Human emotions were often challenging to articulate. Taking a deep breath, she tried her best.

"I am worried that you are interested in resuming your relationship with the Annika Hansen that you knew before. But that person no longer exists. I have changed. I am worried that I will disappoint you, that your feelings will not be sustained once we return to our regular lives."

Ah. That made sense. Kathryn nodded, thinking carefully before answering.

"We're always changing, Seven. That's life. You pointed out yesterday that I'm no longer the person I was before either."

The younger woman nodded.

Kathryn continued, "After our marriage broke up I moved on with my life. I got over you. It was hard at times," she admitted, "But my life carried on."

"The person you are now... I know you're not the same as who you were back on Voyager, but believe me when I say that I do know who you are today.

"I know you love animals. You don't eat meat, you cry at the sight of whales, and you keep a cat for a pet. You care deeply about others, going above and beyond to support a friend. You care about your students and treat each of them with respect. And you _get_ people. You know what things they like and what they need and what makes them happy. You know what makes _me _happy.

"Yes, your work is important, but you've learned to take time out..." Kathryn paused. "As far as I know you haven't picked up your research in two days now."

Seven was startled to realize that the older woman was correct. Her eyes strayed to the stack of PADDs sitting neatly on the edge of the coffee table, completely forgotten. She had made an aborted attempt at work the previous afternoon, but had let the equations go with no regret.

Preferring never to be idle, the professor used work as something productive to fill her time. Eyeing the woman beside from her on the couch, Seven realized that there were other things in life that she would happily substitute for PADDs and theories and equations.

Kathryn watched the younger woman's eyes slide over the stack of PADDs and then dismiss them. Seven's gaze returned to hers with no regret.

The admiral tugged her toes out from under Seven's leg and leaned toward her intently.

"You're playful and kind and caring," she continued.

_Just say it. You know it's true, and she needs to hear it._ Kathryn sucked in a steadying breath.

"I know who you are, Seven. And I love you."

Upon hearing the last words Seven choked on a sob. It was real. This was really happening. With dismay, she realized that she was shaking again.

Noticing this, the ex-admiral took Seven's hands in hers. "I love you, Seven," she repeated lightly, reaching out to wipe at the tears which were forming in the corners of gentle blue eyes.

"I love you too," Seven whispered back in a choked voice.

Kathryn leaned forward to capture sweet lips in a gentle kiss. The younger woman's hands came up to cup her face.

As the kiss deepened, Seven felt her confidence return and her touch grew steady. She ran an eager hand down the older woman's torso, appreciating the soft curves under Kathryn's sweater.

As their exchanged became increasingly heated, the older woman broke off to gasp out, "Bed!"

Smiling in agreement, Seven scooped the retired admiral into her arms and carried her into the bedroom.

"Seven," the admiral scolded, tapping her on the shoulder. "You know I hate it when you do that!"

"You do not hate it," the professor stated, eyes twinkling. "You like to protest, but you do not mind being carried off to bed at all."

"Alright, I suppose I don't," Kathryn admitted with a smile as Seven set her gently down on the sheets.

Raising her arms above her head, she allowed the younger woman to grasp the edge of her sweater and draw it up and off her body. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she crossed her arms on her chest, trying to hide beneath her light chemise.

"Kathryn, you are beautiful," the younger woman stated.

"I'm old, Seven," she complained, her insecurities rising abruptly to the surface.

"Kathryn, you are beautiful," Seven repeated.

"I'm fat, I'm wrinkly, I'm saggy..."

In front of this unbelievably beautiful, sexy, _younger_ woman, Kathryn suddenly felt each and every one of her years. She felt the extra weight that had settled onto her body despite her best efforts at fitness. In her mind's eye she could practically see each and every wrinkle on her face.

"Look at me." The professor's voice was affectionate but firm. When the older woman's eyes tentatively rose to meet hers she smiled, allowing her love and desire for the other woman to creep into her gaze.

"Kathryn," she purred, "You are beautiful. You are perfection."

Looking up into her love's electric blue eyes, Kathryn saw nothing but honesty reflected back at her. Slowly she uncrossed her arms.

"Better." Seven nodded her approval. Not wanting to give the older woman any further chances to start worrying, she crawled onto the bed and pushed Kathryn down onto the mattress.

With the ex-Borg looming over her, lust and need shining hotly in her eyes, the admiral let go of her insecurities.

"Nuh uh, I'm on top this time," she murmured with a smile, flipping them over and straddling lean hips.

She pushed Seven down onto the bed and rocked back onto her heels to regard the woman beneath her. Seven's eyes glinted at her hungrily but she lay back patiently, allowing the former admiral to set the pace.

With a wicked smile, Kathryn tossed her hair out of the way and continued the exploration she had begun that morning.

Light fingers traced Seven's rib cage and ran gentle circles around the edges of her breasts. She counted the implants on the younger woman's abdomen, brushing each one in turn, before flicking her fingertips against nipples that were hardening under Seven's shirt.

"I had forgotten what a tease you are," Seven growled, grabbing one of Kathryn's hands and bringing it to her lips to plant an open-mouthed kiss on the palm.

Kathryn merely smiled. Suddenly desperate for Seven's skin, she retrieved her hand, grasped the edge of the younger woman's shirt and drew it off over her head. Her simple bra followed quickly.

Seven settled back into the bed, allowing the retired admiral to trace reverent fingers over the exposed Borg metal on her stomach.

As those same fingers brushed over her nipples again and squeezed gently, Seven moaned and grabbed Kathryn's hips, impatiently pulling the older woman into her.

Suddenly needing to feel skin, Kathryn whipped her chemise over her head and tossed it vaguely in the direction of her suitcase. It landed forgotten on the floor as she sunk down onto Seven, groaning at the feel of soft skin on skin.

Making love to the younger woman was easier than she had imagined. Their bodies fit together naturally, and the echo of their past together lent the knowledge of how to please one another.

Making love to the younger woman was also harder that she had imagined. The experience was overwhelming, and she struggled against her natural instinct to pull away, to protect herself by keeping some distance.

Seven had clearly had other lovers along the way, her touch more experienced and confident than it had been all those years before. She brought the older woman to the edge and held her there, revelling in the feel of Kathryn's body writhing against her own.

When Kathryn finally let go she exploded with a sob, Seven's fingers buried deep inside her. She felt her entire being get blown apart and then reassembled, and she knew she would never be quite the same. She belonged to this woman, heart and soul.

As she went over the edge Kathryn's fingers curled, involuntarily fisting inside the younger woman who immediately followed her lover over the edge with a loud cry.

They clung together for long minutes, heart rates slowing, sweat cooling on their skin.

Annika Hansen Janeway watched her lover return to earth. She snaked out the tip of her tongue to taste the sweat in the hollow of the older woman's neck.

Kathryn pulled back to look into her love's eyes.

"So, you think you might want to be a Janeway again?" the retired admiral murmured.

Narrowing her eyes, Seven retorted, "I am already a 'Janeway'."

"Ah... that makes it easier then, doesn't it?" Kathryn mumbled, smiling sheepishly.

The younger woman paused, regarding her carefully. "If you are attempting to ask me to marry you, you aren't doing any better than the first time around," she said mildly.

"Oh..."

"But the answer is still 'yes'." Seven reassured her.

"Oh." Kathryn smiled in relief. "Well, good then. Phoebe will be pleased."

"_I_ am pleased," the professor stated, a smile quirking the corner of her lips.

"As am I!" exclaimed the former admiral. "Very pleased." The last two words rolled off her tongue, warm and smooth, and she leaned for another kiss.

xxxxx

The stewardess checked their reservations as they boarded the transport back to San Francisco. Recognizing the famous figure, she nodded politely. "Admiral Janeway, I hope you and your wife had a good holiday?"

Kathryn Janeway smiled indulgently. "We did," she confirmed. "We definitely did."


End file.
